You have two choses: live your life FOR your sister OR live your life for you. Very simple. You pick.

That sounds harsh but true.

i realize this - and i want to live life for Me ! but this overwhelming guilt is eating at me ! does anyone else feel this way?

You shouldn't feel guilt at all. You have a right to move on. My goodness you have saved her thousands of dollars on babysitting fees; and alot more. Its time, past time, that you move on.

but she tells me that my life is meant to be this way and i'm meant to be miserable- she and her hubby expect me to be there and she even told me i was not allowed to move out til summer - and i know i'm an adult and i should just shrug my shoulders at her and ignore it- but it hurts to be treated this way and i can't move til me and my man have a place-so i'm damned if i do and damned if i don't- worst part is all my friends agree with her and think i'm being selfish and i should stay and help her....

I haven't been in your particular situation. But, in reading your post, you have done a wonderful service to your sister. I would simply talk to her, let her know that while you enjoy helping her out, love her family and love her, it is your time to step out and be on your own.

At the same time, outside of her negative comments. Since you will be hours away, this may be the real reason she is against it. Your friends are simply going to miss you. But, a heed of warning, just make sure you listen to their comments and aren't being swept away. Hopefully they aren't seeing a bad situation before it starts that you're missing.

I'm guess the truth is, they are all going to miss you. But, you are your own person, entitled to YOUR own life and happiness.

Well of course HER friends are going to agree with her.
She has no right to demand anything of you, it is wrong of her to do so. I think you should deff. move out. Sounds like you have been slave to her for years and she has taken great advantage of you. What do YOUR friends say?

my friends say i'm being selfish- and that i shouldn't move so far away- i want to move there for more reasons than just the guy and nobody seems to understand that- they say i should stay and help my sister- even the neighbors are against me! i feel like a prisoner- my sis tells me - u aren't locked in the house- just don't leave for good! i feel trapped- sad part is = i can't get out til someone in tenn hires me ! and its so frustrating cause i have filled out countless applications in person and online and i get nothing ! something has simply got to give or i'm gonna go insane- i'm surprised i haven't already- maybe i have and nobody is telling me - i don't know anymore !

Are you your sister's employee or just helping her out because you are her sister. It sounds to me like you have been there since you got out of high school. Were you able to go to college? Have you ever done anything that you wanted to do with your life?
Think about it, it is time for you to have a life and find out what you want to do with your life besides take care of your sister and her family. How about a family of your own!
Good Luck

live life for you your sister should want the same 4 u

No one has the right to tell you how you ought to live your life. For you sister to tell you this is the way your life is suppose to be?...IS she god?
And to tell you that you can't move out?! She is sooooo using you it is sickening!!! and I can't believe you are falling for it!

nope i never was able to go to college- the deal was she would go first since she had the kid and i'd go when she was done- well then mom got cancer and someone had to take care of her- and i love my mom- i couldn't let strangers take care of her - so i helped with that while taking care of my sis newborn baby.... yes i wanted to get into a training program to be a psychiatric technician or maybe go to college to be a kindergarten teacher.... she said she would help me because i had helped her- but when she met her hubby it all changed and he told her- u gotta look out for number one- and ever since we haven't really gotten along- but i have no place to go- i have to stay here til someone in tenn hires me and i can get out- my man and i are having financial difficulties and i'm about to pull my hair out- i put up with it cause i've had lots of emotional abuse in my life - so i just take it cause my life will never get better- nobody loves me and they never will and i have to accept the fact that i'll be an old maid......

If your MAN as you call him does not love you, then why move with him? You could apply for a job where you are now, and get your own place where you are! Be dependant on yourself first, then you will not feel so trapped! Sending >>HUGS

i haven't been in a similar situation...but i felt guilty before about doing my thing, my life...and the best way to overcome it was to be honest and pull the band-aid ASAP; if your sister doesn't like it, try to understand that changes are difficult but over time she'll support you...it'll turn out just fine if you do it for yourself..

If you don't expect your life to get better then you're right, it won't. You were a victim of emotional abuse, which is something that was beyond your control as a child. You are no longer a child. You are 24 years old, you seem very intelligent, and from your posts, you have a heart the size of Texas or bigger. You have a choice...you ALWAYS have a choice! You can choose to hold on to the victim mentality OR you can take the control back and say, "I'm taking my life back!" You have gone above and beyond for your sister and her family. It's time for you to live YOUR life and make decisions for YOU. It is time for YOUR dreams to be fulfilled. There is nothing selfish about that...that is looking after your physical and emotional well being. Yeah, you're going to rock the boat when you finally put your foot down. There may be a stretch of separation and silence but in the end if they love you, they will not stay away. Don't wait until you are nearing the last years of your life to wake up to that realization.

i would live for your life!!!!!!!