Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
Hi, I am married- for a lil over 2 years now, with 2 kids of our own and one step son, 15 from his precious relationship. My husband and I dated, long distance for quite sometime before becoming "serious", but I really fell "for him"- or who I thought/wanted him to be.. And I was very upfront with him in the beginning about wanting kids, though he was not really interested in having more then. He slowly fell in love with me, and about 2 1/2 years into our serious relationship, I found out I was pregnant! Now, my son is 4- our daughter is 1, and I realize we really just don't mesh!! Communication is Key, within any relationship, and it's volatile in ours!! When we disagree, neither wants to budge, and the outcome is ugly! Fighting in front of the kids- and he degrades me.. Calling me names, cussing, yelling. They are happy, healthy kids whom I've put my Everything, heart and soul into every single day- staying home and caring for them!! But he just seems to disregard their emotional well-being at these times of disagreement! I am not innocent, believe me there!! I get Soo frustrated and want him to shut Up and just be a Respectful man, that I tell those things & I often just have to Up and leave to create space and Peace for my children. I take a short drive or try & take a walk. Sometimes he takes the keys from me.. And doesn't let me leave, creating more drama!!!
Faurly recently, while I was pregnant with my daughter, I went through a yoga teaching program, discovered my true passion and love in a career- and even taught for a short while at the very end of my pregnancy! Well, I've even more recently gained a connection through a local yoga event I attended, and I've had opportunities to teach and gain more connections.. But my husband does not trust me-- and Bc I expressed to him this teacher (male- my yoga connection) made me feel slightly uncomfortable; he shames me into not going to/working with him in any yoga event, like the one I have scheduled on this very day! We have fallen on more than tight times, financially, and I wish to lighten the burden on him- and also put my skills and passion to good use- but he has taken off his ring, claiming "I have Noo respect" if I'd even consider going to teach acro yoga with this man. I am not the Least interested or ATTRACTED TO HIM, whatsoever!!! But, he does not care, listen or Respect me and my dreams/goals of teaching and wishing to help support our family!!! I am really at my wits end, Bc I am a happy, bubbly person otherwise, and I always find joy and optimism in any and everything I've been through!! I want to leave him- and create a home for my children, but I am a long way from being financially fit! And he also threatens me any time I try to communicate this feeling to him! Then, sometimes, he plays the sob story to me.. Saying he could not go on.. And he basically would go MIA & not care about our 2 children together!! That he would Not make it easy on me.. Please, I need Advice; a support system; people who have recently separated and have Resources- All of this would be extremely beneficial to me in this time of confusion and need!!
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
This is mental/emotional abuse and your kids are witness to what's going on in the home..... They are learning what's okay from their parents
You also wrote 'neither wants to budge' when there's any sort of conflict..... That's no good for any of you
How will there ever be conflict resolution if it becomes about 'right fighting'
It sounds like you really need professional help if this is to ever be a happy family and if not then a therapist can help you to move forward in a healthy way for all involved....
Big hug and a blessing..... I wish you well.......xo
I do agree with Ms. SunCloud's tips. Consulting with a couples' or family/marriage therapist is the best idea. What you tell here is somewhat diagnostic information too. So taking in a copy of your post here is useful in helping the professional counselor to feel informed & the goal is this information will form a sort of start to a checklist, of which this therapist will facilitate the process of getting to the heart of the disturbing issues surrounding your marriage relationship. Then, too, you may decide to approach the therapist with a framed idea of other issues related to the marriage problems as well. For example this information will include questions & answers for both you & your husband: What is the extent of the problems presented? Information you each have that may be of use in understanding the nature of the current problems. What are your current performance capabilities (behaviors & reactions)? What are your strengths? Weaknesses? What antecedent or consequent conditions maintain the behavior(s)? What are your social behaviors? Emotional functioning (what helps)? What resources are available within the home environment of which you may use as reinforces to formulate a positive home environment? What is the outcome of such efforts? And the answers are all important ones and used for determining useful alternatives, of which crucial observations may function in organizing a strong, loving and caring home structure. Expect that the list of issues to address is wide range. This may be a long process yet well worth it.
I really feel that you care for your family very much and I do hope for the better for all of you. I'm so sorry that this thing is happening. God bless.
The emotional abuse is far from ok. (Having suffered it a long time ago, those hateful words can still cut like a knife and bring me back there doubting all the progress I have made.) Also, in your case.... as long as you stay....your little ones are being taught that it's ok for daddy to be ugly to mommy (and sadly, there may be a possibility they would treat or allow themselves to be treated like a second class citizen.
Don't let him crush your dreams. I am also familiar with the emotional blackmail. my stbx (hard for me to say that as he is still fighting the whole process of a divorce. ) is doing the same. he has health issues and does not take good care of himself. Says if we were not together he doesn't think he would still be around. I have spent my entire life caring for all but myself. I am finally realizing there is so much more out there and , like you, I am trying to stay upbeat and bubbly. It is very hard to do with a spouse to browbeat you and bring you down..
I worry about the finances too. (And he knows he can use that to scare me into staying....now I will say could use...past tense. )Truthfully, I am scared to death....but anxious for a new start.
You would be able to get support for you and your kids so that would help...and I think if you do speak to someone, they can maybe hook you up with a low income housing deal to get you all started. You deserve to be happy...do what makes you happy and provide a happy , safe home for your little ones.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. Here's hoping 2018 will be better for us both. :)