My parents have been married for almost 30 years. As long as I can remember they have fought, so to say their marriage has been "loving" may be a stretch. My dad truly loves and cares for my mom, but she's never gave us reason to believe she has these feelings towards him.

Whereas my dad works 6 days a week to pay off the bills (and he feels they're getting nowhere and fears he won't be able to retire anytime soon), she hasn't had a job in almost 15 years. She spends most of her time watching TV, gardening, or going to the doctor (we all think she's a pill junkie: painkillers, adderall she doesn't need (but wanted it since I was put on it for a neurological disease), and who knows what else. Without my dad, she'd have no money, no medical insurance, and no house. She's told my brother more than once that she's waiting for her mother to pass away so she can leave my dad, since she'll have an inheritance (and she gets upset when her mother spends $, likely feeling it's intended for her). If it helps, I'm 95% sure she's a malignant narcissist, therefore therapy is out of the question.

My mom has always been a "sneaky" person and has kept to herself alot. However, since my sister moved out almost 2 years ago (my brother is still at home), her behavior has changed.

1. She stopped using the house phone. My sister gave her an old cell phone to use and she would only use it part of the time, most times it was dead due to not being used. The landline was switched to a new system, and the moment my sister mentioned call logs can be viewed in the new system my mom immediately stopped using the home phone. Only her cell phone. She recently got a new phone because she dropped hers in the toilet; had it less than a couple weeks. When I was using it the other day to take pictures I looked at her recent texts (there were no names to the #s), and being she lost alot of her old contacts there were only a few conversations. One of them was a local phone number and the conversation was very long. I didn't read anything in the conversation, but when I scrolled it caught my eye that this person texted her "goodnight, my love". She talks to this person more than my father (she's given him the silent treatment now for over a week). She only talks to him to bi*** him out for something (and when he's at work, no less).

2. She's never home. (1)Years ago she became a board member for the local AA 'club', and it was only 1 day a month (and she always talked about dreading going to the board meeting). Within a matter of months she's now going between 2 different AA 'clubs' and basically taking on more board positions. She's also taken to being a sponsor for a woman at one of the clubs. Last year on Christmas Eve she left the house at around 8:00pm to go meet her "sponsee". (2) When she and my dad fight she will be gone for the night, saying "she's got couches to crash on". I'm soooo close to putting a GPS tracker on her van to see what she's really up to.  

I want to confront her, as she's clearly using my dad. And he's such a kind person that he doesn't deserve this. The only reason we still have a family following her alcoholism is because of him. It's just so sad.

Any advice would be GREATLY APPRECIATED!