Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
I'll try to make this short and sweet....
I am 32 with a family of my own. A couple weeks ago my mother mentioned that my brother who will be deploying in a few months would like to have a family camp out at a place we use to go to when we were younger, we practically spend every weekend there. I said ok, sounds good, even though the weekend they wanted to go on was my son's birthday, but I hadn't planned anything yet, so I was ok with it. Then she told me that they were not going to go and it was cancelled.
So I thought ok, cool I'll set up a little event to do with both sets of Grandparents. When I called my Mom yesterday to see which event she wanted to do for my son's birthday, she said "Oh I was going to call you. We are now on for the camping this weekend". I said oh ok (really heavy), she said where you going to tell me something and I said well I was just going to ask you which event you wanted to do for R's birthday. She was quiet and then said, oh crap it is his birthday. I said but never mind, I'll try and figure out what I'm going to do now. She was like, well this is the only time your brother can do it and he has such wonderful memories....blahblahblah and I said, well I guess I'll figure somehthing else out and hung up with her. She knew I was mad.
Now I'm not trying to seem petty, but there is a lot that goes into this. First off, I"m not the favorite child. Secondly, my mother never could cut the string from my brothers. They are both married with families and they still call her to do thier banking, car payments, insurance all that. Then she already forgot my husbands birthday this year, until she called me to invite us over with my brothers to swim at there house. I told her sorry, it's K's birthday and she said Oh crap, crap...ok and hung up. Like why can't she remember my family, ever! It is always about my brothers, whatever my brothers want. One year they threw a party for him on my husband's birthday.
I'm just mad, not sure if I should keep my plans or cancel my plans and go camping with my familiy, where there will probably be a lot of tension, but I always feel like I miss out, not because I want to, but because I try to make a point, but to them I'm just excluding myself!
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
Your mother may not realize that her favoritism is a point of contention for you. Have you ever sat down with her for an honest conversation about this issue?
Ultimately, it will be up to you as to whether you want to attend a family function to keep the peace so to speak or move ahead with your plans, without feeling any sense of guilt.
You could make sure that all of the family members also know that it's your son's birthday and hopefully they can as well celebrate with him so that he feels special
It's rotten that your mom has hurt you.... Perhaps when things are calm and quiet you can find a time to tell her how you're feeling and how much it's hurt you ... However I would try and take a deep breath and decide you're going to have a good time this weekend and your son might have a great time with the whole family as well.... Big hug... I hear you... I just wouldn't want to pass on this particular time if it were me.....xo