Family Issues Support Group

Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.

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i feel like a failure to myself and my family

adriennetellsittruei
adriennetellsittruei
I should have stayed away when the phonecalls wouldn't stop. I should have known better when he kept showing up everywhere I was, no matter where it was or when. I guess it was being young and feeling wanted by someone that kept me hooked because it wasn't love. After he tried to drown me by seeing how long I could hold my breath, that later turned into fear. I tried to get away many times and each time he would manage to get me to stay just a little longer. One miscarriage and one child birth later, I still am trapped but only through the the use of my son who is now 12 and no longer in my care, but his. I have had to remind my son as he was growing up that he came from my belly. That he was born with my last name. That if I wasn't his real mother, then why was he living with me. All these things were done to him before the age of six. After every attempt to protect my son, it still wasn't enough because now my son is beginning to act just like his father and I know my son does not want to come back to live with me. My son chose to leave and lie about wanting me to fight for him and now I don't know if I should even continue trying. Making someone do something will only make things worse and will it be worth it in the future? Because our life is never going to get easier or be happier because this person I foolishly and stupidly brought into my life will never leave me or us alone.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
I think it's important to have your sons' needs put first... He has few choices being the child

If you think he's in danger or being hurt I would contact CPS... If not I would discuss with your ex how unhappy and angry that he seems and see about getting him into therapy for his well being

Neither parent should be using this child as a pawn... His life must feel out of control and if his father is doing this shame on him

Perhaps mediation could help with putting the best interest of your son first... Big hug for you and a blessing...xo
patti22
patti22
My heart breaks for you.

As SunCloud said, if you feel he's in danger contact the authorities.

If he's not...I sadly suggest that you disconnect. Not because you don't care about him, but because, in my opinion, your best shot at getting him back is to make yourself the strongest, healthiest person that you can.

Do you have visitation? What's he like when he's there? Does he do well in school? Have friends? What's his interests?
AnneBee53
AnneBee53
Please seek counseling and legal help, there are things you can do about this. Don't give up!
adriennetellsittruei
adriennetellsittruei
My son's father and grandmother have both been doing these things since his birth. There is no communication between the father and I, but when something is said between the grandmother and I that both take offense to, that is when he chooses to step in. They never asked about his schooling, if it would be ok to set up conferences, or doctors appointments and how they go or whether they can attend. When court hearings happen I'm told that I am the one to pretty much do all the work and provide them that info. If you cared so much for this child, wouldn't you at least put effort into his life instead of just doing the fun stuff. He tells me that the friends that come over to see him and play with are not his friends and he goes to hang out with them anyway. And all the things he use to do to have fun, he no longer does. He would rather be on the internet on youtube or chatting with his cousin from his other side of the family that he now can see and talk to more at his grandmother's than spend time with us like he use to. And when I have court hearings, my social phobia reacts and I can't relay anything to the judge correctly. I can't afford any really good legal help because I have no income. They use my son to get at me. My son refuses to listen to any of my teachings because Im more of the responsible parent. And any choice my son decides, such as not wanting to see me, thery will run with whether it is court ordered or not. It's already happened. Im so tired of all this, on top of knowing my son chose to leave before anything started to get terrible, is pushing me to decide to give up my visitation. I don't see how it is fair to have a schedule in place and then get made to wait on sidelines for someone to choose when they want to abide by that schedule. Either you follow it or you don't. You can't have it both ways.
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