Family Issues Support Group

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husband and step daughters relationship

crazyhazeynut
crazyhazeynut
I found out my hubby sent his daughter $50 which we can not afford. I know he wants to help her because she has 2 kids. I have pretty good reason to believe she is smoking pot which is just one reason i don't want him sending her money. She is a chronic lier. She told him she got a job selling knives and he asked her how much that was going to cost her and she said nothing. I looked up the company she said it was for and it is going to cost her over $100 for knives and she has to pay for training. I don't know how to stop him from sending her money we can't afford.
DeliAnnem
DeliAnnem
Ugh. Cutco, right? What a scam. Just the fact that she decided to do that shows her poor judgment. AND his, too.

But $50 should not break you unless you are strapped as well.

My suggestion is to get to the library and take out some Suze Orman books and learn how to better deal with money.
lebe
lebe
My suggestion is to make a shared budget so you both spend equally on the household exoenses. After the household expenses are paid, you can both spend your money as you please. That way, he can only fairly help his daughter and grandchildren when he has extra money.
pd2012
pd2012
Any type of business that costs the employee money to join is not a business you want to get involved with. What is wrong with her that she can't work a full time job somewhere that benefits are offered? What you get paid out of any sales job depends on how much of your time you put into it. And, you have to be able to close a sale. Doesn't sound like a very lucrative job.

I can understand your husband wanting to help out his daughter here and there especially where there are grandchildren involved. I would have a talk with your husband and tell him that any monies spent in the household needs to be a joint decision.
annieheart
annieheart
I understand he wants to help his daughter.I all so understand your point as well. I think hubby is going to have to get fed up with his daughter asking for money on his own.I bailed my daughter out twice a few years ago when her hubby owed 100.00 to the bank.They bought things they should not of ,i am sure. We do not have much we sacrifice to help our kids sometimes.Now my daughter is on her feet and doing well. I have a step son my hubby spent money on him I wished he did not once,but I understand its his son. I do understand your feelings but I guess sometimes we just feel good helping our kids no matter what.
crazyhazeynut
crazyhazeynut
Thanks all for response and suggestions.Yes, its Cutco.My husband is on disability and I am right behind him due to back ,knee pain and bipolar disorder. Just had my hearing 2 weeks ago. So we have very little income at the time. We just make our household expenses and food. There is nothing physically wrong with her or her live in boyfriend.The boyfriend was working for awhile but lost job about 6 months ago due to argument with boss(don't know details). She is 36 and has only had a few jobs for short periods of time. She lived with another guy from the time she was 18 till about 4 or 5 years ago and he supported her. I really do understand that he wants to help her but she really needs to learn to help herself.
Thanks again.
DeliAnnem
DeliAnnem
Yeah, I'd say at 36, it's time for her to swim, tread or drown on her own.

With both of her parents not being able to handle a job, it's no wonder she can't... Any way she can take out a loan to get some REAL training to get a job? (Med tech, for example?) Or at LEAST waitress? It's actually good money if you are decent at it. Or she could be a professional house sitter- double win- getting PAID to live somewhere!

In the mean time, you've got to say- we've got out own issues and can't help you any more.

And no more BS "business opportunities!"
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