Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
I never have thought of myself as jealous of my sister; right now, sitting here, I don't feel jealous of her. However, that must be the reason I get so infuriated when I see the way my mother spoils her. I don't know what else it could be.
My sister is very overweight - startlingly overweight. She is 13 and I am 21, but she weighs more than me and is close to my boyfriend's weight. It actually alarms me. Yet, my mother does not bother to do anything about it. She buys her fast food an average of 3 times a week, lets her sit on her butt all day, and does not encourage any healthy activities. My sister even complains about regular leg cramps - I can only fear the possible health risks when she gets older.
My sister is manipulative and my mother is completely oblivious to it. Just earlier today, I was trying to change our Internet's modem and router, and my mother told me I had to put back the old one because my sister complained to her about how long it was taking. This was after I worked on it for five minutes, if even.
My mother ALWAYS puts my sister first. A perfect example of this.... When I was 17-ish, my friend was throwing a birthday party. We only had one vehicle at the time. I asked my mom, a week in advance, if I could borrow the car to go to the party. She said she did NOT have plans and I could use it.... Fast forward to the day of the party. She approaches me and informs me that I cannot use the car because my sister has a birthday party to go to. When did she inform my mother of this affair? Two minutes ago. She found out about the party at school earlier that day.
She brings my sister into every situation. I want to go somewhere, I want to do something, I want to eat somewhere - the response is always "what about your sister?" I have to neglect involving my mother in things because of this.
My sister can do no wrong. A few weeks ago, my sister came home from school angry. I eavesdropped as my mother asked her what was wrong. The explanation was something along the lines of... "I threw a pencil and the teacher yelled at me and sent me to detention. We aren't friends anymore!" This is my THIRTEEN year old sister. I was angry to see my mother just hum in response and not bother to explain WHY the teacher was angry - though she should know better, anyway.
She does NOT encourage my sister any sense of self respect or independence. My sister is thirteen and does not do ANYTHING around the house. She does not clean her own room, pick up after herself, fetch her own beverages, help bring in groceries... My mother does not hold her responsible for ANY of her actions. My sister downloaded a virus onto her computer; there was no punishment, my mother just fixed it and that was that. She was even warned AHEAD of time not to download it.
My sister is allowed to use the Internet freely and has been for many years. My mother does NOT monitor my sister's internet activity. I've seen her history... it's not pretty; but, my mother does not care. She's downloaded plenty of viruses, which I always have to clean up.
She undermines my authority IN FRONT of my sister. My mother has often left me to babysit, as expected; however, she has always made it clear to my sister that I have no authority. Because of this, I cannot tell her what to do or control her behavior or attitude, especially when the situation involves me.
I'm sure there's more; but, I guess I should stop.
I don't know what to do to get over my anger towards my mother for how she treats my sister. It boils my blood and makes me just HATE them; but, the thing is, she is NOT my kid and NOT my responsibility. So, I can't change anything. I'm going to college and was recently laid off, so there is NO chance of moving out on my own. I don't complain in front of her because my mother is the "my way or the highway" type....
I guess I'm sick of always coming second to this child. I help my mother pay bills and I'm going to college, yet I'm always second to the 13 year old.
My sister is very overweight - startlingly overweight. She is 13 and I am 21, but she weighs more than me and is close to my boyfriend's weight. It actually alarms me. Yet, my mother does not bother to do anything about it. She buys her fast food an average of 3 times a week, lets her sit on her butt all day, and does not encourage any healthy activities. My sister even complains about regular leg cramps - I can only fear the possible health risks when she gets older.
My sister is manipulative and my mother is completely oblivious to it. Just earlier today, I was trying to change our Internet's modem and router, and my mother told me I had to put back the old one because my sister complained to her about how long it was taking. This was after I worked on it for five minutes, if even.
My mother ALWAYS puts my sister first. A perfect example of this.... When I was 17-ish, my friend was throwing a birthday party. We only had one vehicle at the time. I asked my mom, a week in advance, if I could borrow the car to go to the party. She said she did NOT have plans and I could use it.... Fast forward to the day of the party. She approaches me and informs me that I cannot use the car because my sister has a birthday party to go to. When did she inform my mother of this affair? Two minutes ago. She found out about the party at school earlier that day.
She brings my sister into every situation. I want to go somewhere, I want to do something, I want to eat somewhere - the response is always "what about your sister?" I have to neglect involving my mother in things because of this.
My sister can do no wrong. A few weeks ago, my sister came home from school angry. I eavesdropped as my mother asked her what was wrong. The explanation was something along the lines of... "I threw a pencil and the teacher yelled at me and sent me to detention. We aren't friends anymore!" This is my THIRTEEN year old sister. I was angry to see my mother just hum in response and not bother to explain WHY the teacher was angry - though she should know better, anyway.
She does NOT encourage my sister any sense of self respect or independence. My sister is thirteen and does not do ANYTHING around the house. She does not clean her own room, pick up after herself, fetch her own beverages, help bring in groceries... My mother does not hold her responsible for ANY of her actions. My sister downloaded a virus onto her computer; there was no punishment, my mother just fixed it and that was that. She was even warned AHEAD of time not to download it.
My sister is allowed to use the Internet freely and has been for many years. My mother does NOT monitor my sister's internet activity. I've seen her history... it's not pretty; but, my mother does not care. She's downloaded plenty of viruses, which I always have to clean up.
She undermines my authority IN FRONT of my sister. My mother has often left me to babysit, as expected; however, she has always made it clear to my sister that I have no authority. Because of this, I cannot tell her what to do or control her behavior or attitude, especially when the situation involves me.
I'm sure there's more; but, I guess I should stop.
I don't know what to do to get over my anger towards my mother for how she treats my sister. It boils my blood and makes me just HATE them; but, the thing is, she is NOT my kid and NOT my responsibility. So, I can't change anything. I'm going to college and was recently laid off, so there is NO chance of moving out on my own. I don't complain in front of her because my mother is the "my way or the highway" type....
I guess I'm sick of always coming second to this child. I help my mother pay bills and I'm going to college, yet I'm always second to the 13 year old.
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Well, good morning to you!Today is National Roller Coaster Day. Are any of you going?It's also National Tell-A-Joke Day! Come up with some and share!I'm not bright with jokes these days, but I'll start:"Today I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon...I'll let you know." :D
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Woke up feeling very emotional and about to clock in at my place of employment. And can't place it all in writing but not been a good experience with my store manager or his boss. Defamation of my character is a concern. I've been losing appetite and weight. Trying to perform at work to keep myself from hospitalization as a result of toxic masculinity.
I was always the overachiever and good kid, but was treated like I was a "delinquent" which is the term my parents used for me when trying to justify their treatment of me to other people. I was always the super good kid, never got into any trouble, very ambitious, made good grades, started working at age 12, never experimented with drugs, alcohol, or sex, etc. On top of working and going to school, I was expected to do a lot around the house. Help my dad with house projects, wash the vehicles, mow the lawn, take care of the dog, etc. My sister was NEVER expected or asked to do any of this. She never helped with anything, like bringing groceries in, like you said. I was always told to do this. It wasn't optional. I had to pay for my own stuff, buy my own car, and pay my own car insurance. My sister was given all of this and far more. Everything for her, throughout college, all expenses, everything was paid for. I'm still paying off student loans to this day because I was on my own. My sister was driving a much newer car, with insurance and a cell phone while in college. I was driving a 20+ yr old car and lived out in the middle of nowhere, no phones around, long country road to get to/from school, and I had no cell phone. The list goes on and on and on.
I don't know that there's any advice I can give but get out. You're old enough to be out of that situation. I left the moment I turned 18. Finished HS 1000 mi away. At 13, your sister certainly doesn't need a babysitter. She needs to stop being babied.
You should maybe read about "scapegoating" and "the golden child". Usually there are some personality disorders involved when parents treat their children like this.
Not having any consequences for actions again is harming her...It seems to me that your mom can't be bothered to mother her....I don't know if she's trying to be a friend as opposed to a parent?? but she's harming her from what I've read here... She should be preparing her for the next stage of life and it seems that you've been prepared..
I don't see any good coming from what's being done to your sister another... Big hug for you....xo
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3117590/