Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
She is making herself sick worrying that my brother won't have enough money to live on when she dies. And wont have money for a place to live.I am trying not to let it get to me but it does. " I'm so upset". is what I keep hearing from her. Everytime she looses a large amount of money or might loose it. Even $500 or a thousand sends her into deep upset. She still has enough to pay his expences for a year or two i think. Even if she lives for four or five more years. I keep telling her i will help him financially. She doest think i can help enough. Her anxiety disorder is part of the problem
Her rigid thinking and negativity is another. She won't listen to anyone. Its really emotionally drainig to deal with her. If i had to live with her I'd go out of my mind.
Barbara
Her rigid thinking and negativity is another. She won't listen to anyone. Its really emotionally drainig to deal with her. If i had to live with her I'd go out of my mind.
Barbara
Sometimes...it gets people off the issue that they're going on about and onto a different subject...sometimes nothing does.
How old is your brother and why does he need help?
500.00 IS a lot of money to loose. Why is she loosing it?
I'd suggest helping her help your brother. Is he in a group home? Is your mother sick and expecting to die? Has she gone to see an estate planner to handle the money?
Maybe I don't understand the story, so I apologize, but perhaps you can articulate why she is so intolerable.
First a few things.
1) It's real. For both you and her. Neither of you are making it up, or under much control over it. And yes, don't live with her.
2) You need to find out from someone that's objective, if your mom's worries are true concerns. (Just because someone's always worried about fire, doesn't mean that one day there can't be an actual fire.)
3) Did you ever watch a baby that just wouldn't stop crying? It IS okay to walk away when you're overstressed. That's healthy for both you AND your mom. You need an escape valve.
4) I'm okay with you venting. From what I've read, you've stuck with your mom through thick and thin...actions speak louder than words.
5) You've got it nailed "Her anxiety disorder is part of the problem." You can't fix that. If you're religious, hand it over to God. If you're atheist (like me) hand it over to fate...but keep repeating that to yourself. Because you can't fix that. Heck even psychiatrists often can't fix that.
And if you ever do learn how to fix it. Patent it quick, because you'll be a millionaire. (Can I borrow some money?)
6) Remember that as draining as it is to deal with her....it's harder to BE her. (And the time to worry, is probably when she STOPS worrying...then she's probably sick...)
Gentle hugs,
Patti