Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
I'll try to make this as short as possible.
My sister had a baby a few years ago at age 15 by a man who used to beat her, well his whole childhood he has lived with us. We are currently going through a custody battle to get him (the state has custody, and put him in our care. but we are trying to get her parental rights removed.)
After he was about 2 they split. Age three, another abusive guy for a few months. Then a REALLY great guy who ended up getting her pregnant and she left him. Well last year she met a guy online (he was in prison at the time) and three months later when he got out she moved in with him. He was VERY abusive. Beat the shit out of her, and I mean cracked ribs, concussions (yes, she was still pregnant at the time) and finally she gave birth to a tiny little girl (but healthy, thank god!). He beat her in front of my nephew (she took him when they met so he could be "daddy"). We ended up calling the cops for my nephews safety. He is back in prison, but she didn't leave him. Get this, she MARRIED the guy in prison.
Anyway, now we have my nephew and he has some HORRIBLE issues. I love him to death, he is a very good kid and soooo sweet. However, he has some awful anger issues. He will scream, bite, kick, hit, cry, pinch... anything you can think of. If you try to hug him and calm him down he screams "GET OFF ME, DONT TOUCH ME!" and thrashes around so bad you have to let go before he hurts himself. I am SO tired of seeing this innocent little boy go through so much pain and anger because of that selfish bitch. We aren't sure how to handle it. Hold him and force him to stop? Let him cry it out? What do we do to prevent worse issues in the future? I don't want to see him end up like all of his "daddys". I want the best future possible for him. But I don't know how to help him and it makes me feel awful.. We talked about karate or something that he can take his anger out on but no one gets hurt and they teach him when its okay to get mad.. But will that just make it worse and teach him its okay to kick/punch? I'm just so lost!! I'm 18, I don't have kids of my own. This "mommy" thing isn't easy :/
My sister had a baby a few years ago at age 15 by a man who used to beat her, well his whole childhood he has lived with us. We are currently going through a custody battle to get him (the state has custody, and put him in our care. but we are trying to get her parental rights removed.)
After he was about 2 they split. Age three, another abusive guy for a few months. Then a REALLY great guy who ended up getting her pregnant and she left him. Well last year she met a guy online (he was in prison at the time) and three months later when he got out she moved in with him. He was VERY abusive. Beat the shit out of her, and I mean cracked ribs, concussions (yes, she was still pregnant at the time) and finally she gave birth to a tiny little girl (but healthy, thank god!). He beat her in front of my nephew (she took him when they met so he could be "daddy"). We ended up calling the cops for my nephews safety. He is back in prison, but she didn't leave him. Get this, she MARRIED the guy in prison.
Anyway, now we have my nephew and he has some HORRIBLE issues. I love him to death, he is a very good kid and soooo sweet. However, he has some awful anger issues. He will scream, bite, kick, hit, cry, pinch... anything you can think of. If you try to hug him and calm him down he screams "GET OFF ME, DONT TOUCH ME!" and thrashes around so bad you have to let go before he hurts himself. I am SO tired of seeing this innocent little boy go through so much pain and anger because of that selfish bitch. We aren't sure how to handle it. Hold him and force him to stop? Let him cry it out? What do we do to prevent worse issues in the future? I don't want to see him end up like all of his "daddys". I want the best future possible for him. But I don't know how to help him and it makes me feel awful.. We talked about karate or something that he can take his anger out on but no one gets hurt and they teach him when its okay to get mad.. But will that just make it worse and teach him its okay to kick/punch? I'm just so lost!! I'm 18, I don't have kids of my own. This "mommy" thing isn't easy :/
To answer your question, NO, you do NOT hold him and force him to do anything. You stay CALM and model appropriate behavior.
Where's your mom in all this??? This is HER issue if your sister's useless, NOT your thing.
So, how old is the boy- 5? At this point, most of the damage is done. The rest of his life is the remaining 20%.
This boy needs a calm, stable environment. What is your home like? Who cares for him? What is his day like? Your home might not be the best place for this little boy.
I'd start with talking to your parents. For yourself, just have patience with him and show him love and understanding.
and read up on EmpoweringParents.com
Good luck, hun. At least he has someone in his corner. :)
i would agree that play therapy/psychology would be good but know that my grand son is still on the waiting list. Just be patient with your love i am sure that he will change and settle down. it is so heartbreaking isnt it ? good luck