First I would like to start off with a bit of my past. My mother was neglectful, my father was an abusive addict, he drank, and eventually got into hard drugs. On my mothers side, my grandmother is a drama queen but shes a lot better than my mom, my step grandfather was stubborn but treated me the nicest. On my fathers side, most everyone is addicted to some hard drug or another, my grandmother was nasty, my grandfather was only concerned with money.

Okay so foster care. I was 9 1/2 years old. me and my 3 brothers were sent to foster care. I was there for about a month and a half. but it was hell. my family was hell but this was worse. at least my mother tried to keep me on a gluten free diet, i would ask the woman taking care of us (FYI not the actual foster parent) if the muffins or noodle soup was gluten free and every time she lied and said it was. this was the same woman who picked up my youngest brother as a baby by his thighs and slammed his head into a wall to make his stop crying, 16 years later he is still cross eyed. this woman fed us fish sticks every single night, we would eat other things but that was our primary food for a month. I got to the point i couldnt eat them without tons of ketchup, and eventually started throwing them up immediatly, needless to say i wasn't let off the hook either. i became very ill and she refused to take me to the doctor. after this she started making french fries every night instead. the actual foster mother did the same thing as the hired help mentioned above. the only difference she acted nice. were would be sent out to the backyard every day in the intense california heat and not even allowed water. there was a girl that was the daughter of the foster mom. we stopped seeing her after she told us about how her dad loved her, she said she liked it becuase it was the only attention she got, but it hurt. It toke me years to realize she was being raped by her father. partly becuase a friend of mine now tells me about some of the things she did due to her abuse. one of my other brothers was a sweet kid before we went to foster care and he was never the same again. even though i was the oldest i wasnt left unscared from the expirience. I think i can rightfully say that foster care was the worst thing ever to happen to me. and as i remember the other kids at foster care agreed that was the best home they were in so far. and that terrified me especially since most of them flinched when ever any adults came nearby. also i should mention that one of the older girls had her leg broken for reasons she couldnt say, the lady said she fell down the stairs, but i dont think thats what happened.

my mom dated a man who was a foster parent and this guy was cool. so dont get me wrong not all foster parents are evil. but this guy had to stop after a child killed himself after he was told her had to go to a new home.

one of the best examples of a foster parent was when my fourth brother (medically needy) ran a fever of 104 in a different home than ours and the "medically trained" woman toke him to the doctor and dropped him off outside the ER and left. he almost died that day.

My parents didn't take care of me the way they should have. but i don't have any ptsd from anything but my father and that was only after he started with drugs, and even then he only started after we found of that due to my brother coming so close to death he suffered enough damage that he was declared terminal. why do i post this now, becuase yesterday i encountered a woman who triggered me. i have never triggered even though i remember everything i have never triggered until now. fight or flight kicked in and i wanted to attack this woman. it was the woman who toke care of us for the foster parent. now what gave it away, she was buying tons and tons of frozen french fries and fish sticks. so i asked her if she really liked them and we started talking and yea she works for a foster parent. i asked her for the foster parents name cuase i wanted to be one. using the parents info i looked into it and yea this was the same woman.

I fought a demon and won.