Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
My MIL and husband co-own a business that his parents started in 1979. I worked in it. My MIL just got mad at me...nothing new. What was new is she called my husband tonight and demanded to come to the house. She came over about 9pm and fired me in my own house. I was shocked at first, but then I was very relieved. I had tried to quit last January but due to the stress it caused on my husband I stayed. It is such a relief to know I won't have to deal with her everyday. My husband thought about leaving, but decided to stay. I asked him for an agreement that I and our 2 children have no contact with her through the end of the year. She is very emotional, manipulative, and controlling. I want time to heal and have some peace in my life. Knowing that she would have anything to do with my children without my presence right now would really bother me because I don't know what she is capable of. Feeling very relieved and calm. I feel like someone wrapped a huge warm fuzzy blanket around me. It's been a long time since I felt anything but worry, alone, and fear. I think it must be divine intervention.
My husband is the boss, his sister, brother and brother's wife all work with/for him and my inlaws own the building the office is rented out of.
At the outset I said I would NEVER work there. While they all get on with it, the politics of it would cause problems with me as I often feel that some are taking advantage of others for personal and professional gains.
HOWEVER this was a well established business arrangemtne before I came along, and despite all the things I see wrong with it the fact is that none of them are stupid or naieve and all of us have health ins employment and rooves over our heads...and no one is being ripped off compeltely with time or money.
So those imperfections are probably not that bad, although they certainly would not exsist in a non-family business.
The benifits are there too, the brother and his wife are off on sick leave, and are able to take the time to do things right (she has had cancer and needs further treatment).
The sister is able to take time out for her famliy too without loosing her job and as for my husband....we've done 3IVFs and had a baby and he's missed maybe one appointment(because it was an emergency one and as I couldn't wait he was in a meeting).
My mother in law....
Wow, she's a peice of work!
I resolved this to myself early on (after all the crying I'd do) " I will not fall out with this woman, she is my husband's mother".
And that resolution held me together through many a disgusting experience:
"You'll never marry my son, he's too good for you(I'm not a catholic)", "You'd rather have an abortion than a baby (several miscarriages and a miscarried IVF with twins and only days later was this said)"
Sometimes it's easier with those extreemes, it's easy for me to think "That's ridiculous, I'm not aknowledging it"
Often I'll just respond with "cup of tea then".
4 years later and she's behaving better and we almost have a positive relationship.
Don't let into her. Remember to yourself "how would I respond to anyone else doing this"
The thing with firing you in your own home:
It's a hard decision to come to, you've been miserable there.
She's done you a favour in that at least.
There may come a time when you're able to say to her "just as I wasn't a fit for your job, your job wasn't a fit for me".
I hope in due time you can all move forward from this, and the cooling off period is bound to help.
Write down what you'd say to her and read it over before you say it if it helps.
Xx
x
just on the lighter side its not often the M I L gets rid of herself most people spend their time trying to get rid of the M 9I L .
take care
john