Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
So my brothers are laid off. I asked one to paint new my office before moving in (the company would pay someone), he didn't respond. I asked a second time a week later & he was too busy working a few days on our parents farm now. I text all my siblings if anyone would pressure wash my house I would pay them. My sister hacks my text asking everyone to come help pressure wash her house 2 hours away & paint this weekend. They are listing it next week they have outgrown it. Everyone flocked over there today. Except me not because I'm being petty but because I don't think there is anywhere for us to sleep. I realize my sister had a quick deadline but I really needed my office painted too.
The company hired someone through a temp agency who did a great job that now we are getting our whole office repainted then our other locations as well. This was what I was hoping for my brother.
Why do I feel hurt? I feel like I don't belong in this family & have avoided them for a long time until last year. My kids just love hanging out with theirs.
The company hired someone through a temp agency who did a great job that now we are getting our whole office repainted then our other locations as well. This was what I was hoping for my brother.
Why do I feel hurt? I feel like I don't belong in this family & have avoided them for a long time until last year. My kids just love hanging out with theirs.
Finally I reached a point of detachment an acceptance! It wasn't easy and I really had to make sure it was coming from a place of love and kindness and not anger and resentment. I just LET IT GO.... I don't clamor for her love or attention anymore. When I see her by chance at a family function I am nice and we talk and have a good time... I treat her just like I would any other family friend. I realized that my EXPECTATIONS of what a sister relationship SHOULD be, were making me try to FORCE her to be the way I wanted her to be. I finally accepted that with our family dynamic, me being the youngest( born when she was 13) there could have been some feelings like I was the "intruder" into her life.. maybe taking some of the attention that she needed at that point in her life.... anyway.. I guess what I'm trying to say is.. we can only control ourselves. and you can put offers out, but if they aren't taken. The best thing is to just let it go. From a place of love.. I still respond warmly when She contacts me first. I just now let HER do all the contacting... I still reach out first on her Birthday of course, and if I have an event I will send her and invite.. but I have stopped "keeping score" and just try to go with the flow...
hope this helps! Good luck!
And I'd also try not to mix business with family. Again, for the same reason.
If you've only been hanging out with them for the past year, it will take a while to develop a closer relationship.
I think the bigger question is why you've been avoiding them... sounds like there's a history there.
A tip I'd suggest is to just keep it to the kids. Say, "When can we get the kids together again?" Rather than, "I need laborers, and I'm willing to pay."
My one friend says this: when the sh!t rises, the only thing to do is to raise your nose above it! Keep your head held high and don't stoop to their level or pay any mind. You know your truth.
I'd just focus on the kids.
Hugs.