Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
I'll try to make this short but it is a long story..
Anyway, my sister has a history of dating abusive men. Her latest was a guy she met last June and he got out of prison November, they moved in together. January we called the police because he had beaten her. He went back to prison, May, they got "married" (signed papers). There was a restraining order between him and my sisters kids. She has been lying to him about the kids seeing their fathers and one of the fathers got put in the same jail as him today so he found out.. Well he was mad so she freaked out and decided she was going to kill herself. My niece is at her dads for the night (only non-abusive guy she ever slept with). But my nephew was upstairs with her. She left him there, and got in her car and went to leave just as my parents pulled in. She told them she was gonna kill herself, blah blah blah, so dad took her keys and she bolted for the highway. She tried to jump into traffic and dad tackled her. He held her down while mom called the cops. They hauled her off to a psychoward. Where she belongs. But my nephew is terrified, he's 4. He's seen his mom beaten, seen the fights, everything a four year old never should have even known about.. I had him in my room while the cop drama happened and held him to try and calm him down. He said he was mad and sad and scared his mommy left. My mom has been crying, and so has my dad. That leaves me, here to pick up the pieces and figure everything out. The thing is, i'm so sick of it. I'm sick of having to be an adult. For the past 5 years I've held it together. I'm only 17. When do I get to throw a fit? And cry? and make a mess and expect others to clean it up? My 13th birthday dad announced he was having an affair and kicked us out. So we went through 2 years of hell of that. My sister got knocked up right after and mom had an emotional break and wasn't really "there". I love my niece and my nephew SO much. I'd do anything for those children, but part of me wants to be the one to fall apart.. I just don't really know what will be left of my own sanity once it's all done.. if it ever does end.
Anyway, my sister has a history of dating abusive men. Her latest was a guy she met last June and he got out of prison November, they moved in together. January we called the police because he had beaten her. He went back to prison, May, they got "married" (signed papers). There was a restraining order between him and my sisters kids. She has been lying to him about the kids seeing their fathers and one of the fathers got put in the same jail as him today so he found out.. Well he was mad so she freaked out and decided she was going to kill herself. My niece is at her dads for the night (only non-abusive guy she ever slept with). But my nephew was upstairs with her. She left him there, and got in her car and went to leave just as my parents pulled in. She told them she was gonna kill herself, blah blah blah, so dad took her keys and she bolted for the highway. She tried to jump into traffic and dad tackled her. He held her down while mom called the cops. They hauled her off to a psychoward. Where she belongs. But my nephew is terrified, he's 4. He's seen his mom beaten, seen the fights, everything a four year old never should have even known about.. I had him in my room while the cop drama happened and held him to try and calm him down. He said he was mad and sad and scared his mommy left. My mom has been crying, and so has my dad. That leaves me, here to pick up the pieces and figure everything out. The thing is, i'm so sick of it. I'm sick of having to be an adult. For the past 5 years I've held it together. I'm only 17. When do I get to throw a fit? And cry? and make a mess and expect others to clean it up? My 13th birthday dad announced he was having an affair and kicked us out. So we went through 2 years of hell of that. My sister got knocked up right after and mom had an emotional break and wasn't really "there". I love my niece and my nephew SO much. I'd do anything for those children, but part of me wants to be the one to fall apart.. I just don't really know what will be left of my own sanity once it's all done.. if it ever does end.
Only 'blessing' is, at 17, you have the wisdom WAY beyond your years and I hope you use it in positive ways- to set firm boundaries in your life and to see what poor choices can do. Live your life healthy and well, my friend.
What to do about the kids??? Tell CPS what you told us- and not the short version. They need to be in a stable home. Let a case worker deal with it- you shouldn't have to.
But truly you do sound so mature. i agree that you should not have to take care of all of these adults.
Once your parents stabilize could you tell them that all of this is beginning to affect you?
I agree with Deli: Someone should be reporting this to Child Protective services, if they haven't already.
If your sister isn't stable enough to take care of her children they should be placed with family until she can get her act together.
It isn't fair to her kids, her parents and certainly not to you.
Blessings.
My sister also has a heart condition, she had an appointment on the third, but the psychoward isn't going to let her go because her behavior there. Apparently, even her doctor isn't comfortable with her being out, even for that short time.. It's starting to look better for the kids.. I'm just hoping this is what we needed to finally get some peace. It sounds awful, but she just brings so much stress..