Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
My daughter-in -law is due in 3 weeks ,my first grandaughter, Ive patiently ben waiting for a shower in vite ,she has 2 sisters and months ago my daughter in law said Id be hearing from them and Im stupidly babbling on about showers and stockpiling gifts. We went over today unexpected and there were tons of baby gifts and a ballon that said baby shower . my hubby says Oh it might have been just friends but I know she and her sisters and all their friends are inseparable. Am I right to be hurt because my daughter and I werent invited ? . I ve always been to showers where both grandmas attend just out of courtesy because grandmas are all excited , My bubbles kinda burst now .I put all the clothes and toys Ive been saving like an idiot in a garbage bag and Im just gonna hand it to them (my son and his wife ) next time I see them .
Even when I got married in Japan, they just came for their vacation, not only for my wedding, they don't prepare anything.
I saved up my money and decided to lose my career in my country. So I've been upset to my in law. But they think they are doing to me a lot, but for me, it's just a tiny thing.
For your situation, your daughter in law protested you, she is nervous with you and she is afraid of you.
Please don't be upset, you have your own daughter, so you have to wait until your daughter is having a baby.
Or, maybe your son is not doing well to her.
WHY don't you held another baby shower for yourself, invite your daughter in law to your place as a queeen and invite your favorite friends and introduce to them how yor daughter in law.
That makes her happy? and show your generous.
It sounds like the relationship between you and your DIL needs to be mended, she needs to feel that she is accepted as your daughter and not just your son's wife as I am to my inlaw's. Putting the baby's things in a garbage bag is not going to make your relationship with her better.
Maybe you can host a babyshower for her. Be the parent, this is your grandchild she is having and in order to have a healthy relationship with your grandchild you need to build a good one with your DIL.
I actually liked Turtle's bold suggestion to have a party yourself, but the risk is that if these people are bitches, yes I said bitches, they would ruin it somehow or they would make it uncomfortable. I like your dignified idea of handing the bag over when you see them.
I have a lot of serious issues with family and in fact to save my own life (I am referring to mental health issues I have, although there is violence involved too) I have had to make a permanent separation from family. They have very different values to me, but that is not going to stop me living my life through my values - it just makes me more determined to be the person I am capable of being - and that does include extending kindnesses and openess to others.
As we say in Australia, "Don't let the b@#$%^&s get you down!! lol
So yes you have a right to have your feeling hurt than is your grandbaby too.
Can you still give the gifts presented as you originally planned to your son as a gift to him. Maybe this moment of generosity and love has not been lost and can be recreated between the two of you.
Good luck,
xxoxo
Sereniti