Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
my mother is bipolar, and for as long as I can remember it has been a strained relationship since she told me she hated me 7 years ago. I love my mom, so much. But now I'm faced with an opportunity to start a new life in Georgia with someone I believe is the one.
Im not getting the parental support I need from her, and my parents have been divorced for almost 10 years. My dad's new wife (they've been married about a year) sent me a text telling me that if I need anything, motherly advice or just someone to listen and be there for me she's happy to do so. Why does it feel like I'd be betraying my mother when she clearly has no interest in being that parental figure?
When I brought up moving to her she basically said I need to reevaluate my choices. My mother lives 10 hours away. We see each other maybe once a year. I'm just very conflicted. Can anyone give me some advice on this?
-
Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
-
Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
Your profile says you're 29, so you're old enough to know your own mind, and young enough so that if you want to "see the world" and take a chance on love...it's reasonable. As long as you have a way to support yourself and a backup plan for returning to your mother, your father, or wherever you're living now.
As far as your mother goes. That was definitely something better left unsaid, but hardly an unknown thought for parents. I adore my own children...but...yes there are absolutely times I've hated them, and trust me, there are times when they've hated me too. In any case, that's really a separate issue, and neither a reason to stay or to go.
As far as step-mom goes...why not take her up on it? The more people in your life the better. Liking or even loving the step-mom isn't a betrayal of your own mother, anymore than loving your dad, grandparents, an aunt, a boyfriend, or just a friend is. Because step parents can sometimes be a bit more objective than your own parents, she might be a good person to talk to this about. She'll know you and your situation far more than anyone over the internet...
((I'm a bio-mom of a 14 and 16 year old. My kids have had step moms, but never had close relationships with them.))
I've been down there multiple times over the course of the past 6 months, so the decision time wise is rather impulsive, but not quite being 30 and having no kids- what better time to take a chance? In my opinion it would work out no better if I waited a year than if I did it in a few months. I've known him for 12 years, and it would just be me taking a chance honestly. I know him and his family there. That's it.
My mom is in Missouri, so it isn't like we're geographically close and me making this decision really impacts her ability to see me in no way. I hesitate to reach out to my step-mom because quite frankly my mother will call me a traitor. She doesn't embrace the idea of her children being close with my dad's wife. Her saying it probably was better left unsaid- but it was said and she would vehemently deny any knowledge of saying it, as she's got mental issues she refuses to get treatment for beyond being bipolar.
If this is what you want to do I would go for it.... I am bipolar and it's a cyclical disorder that's very treatable...
Some of what you're describing 'sounds' much more like personality then bipolar
It seems more like black and white thinking to me
You have 2 parents and caring about your dad and his wife has nothing to do with being a traitor... That's simply spiteful....
Hopefully your mother can come to terms with what's going on within her and reach out for the help that she needs for her own peace of mind at some point ...
But you can't do that for her
Live your life sweetie and I hope you find happiness if you decide to make Georgia your new home
Big hug and a blessing...xo
So the current issue is probably more her personality disorder than anything else. I am sad to say she probably won't get help, because that's why my parents got divorced after 30 years. She refused treatment consistently and won't acknowledge the issues at hand.
I appreciate your kind words and I think moving to Georgia may indeed be the best idea at this time, his family is so kind and the opportunities there are endless from what I can see.
Thank you for your advice :)
Xo