Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
What can I do about my belligerent, angry, hostile brother's attitude towards me???? I've never been this stressed in my life!!
I recently moved back from abroad to co-own a house with my brother that we want to fix up and sell. I live in the house with my wife, he is about 100km away. The basic problem is when he shows up to work on the house with us or to comeby for any reason, he is EXTREMELY critical about what I have or haven't done. Lot's of progress has been made and things are moving ahead, but he can only see the negative and expounds on it over and over again. I do believe he has a problem. Fears about what will happent to the house if this or that doesn't happen that aren't too realistic in my opinion, but he comes over and UNLOADS!! BLAMES!! RANTS!! We have had huge fights, screaming yelling, borderline physical altercations, but nothing seems to resolve or he can always find something to be unhappy about. He is like this with his wife, to my mom, his step-daughter and sometimes others. But for me, I'm just not used to this intensity or level of conflict, especially on an ongoing basis. When he comes, it can ofter wreck my day or days there after where I am left brewing in anger, resentment, hostile feelings. I replay arguements over and over in my head. IT's to the point where I get anxiety before he comes over because I never know what kind of mood he will be in. I can't really leave the situation immediately either due to some debt incurred to finance the project and it's ongoing nature for the time being. But the problem is affecting my sleep, my health, my mental well being. I've taken Lorazapam to help sleep or for anxiety during the day, and this is helpful.
I've never been too close to my brother and I believe he harbours some pretty deep resentments towards me as he has always seen me as the favoured son. Yet when we conceived this project, things were great, we were excited and looking forward to it. But it was not to be. My anxiety and obssessive thoughts about the situation are affecting my wife and our relationship.
Coming to DS has already helped by reading other people's stories and seeing how mine pales in comparison. But it's a real issue for me, affects me deeply and I have never felt this stressed in my life.
Anyone else out there going through the same things?
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Some things we don't talk about, we breathe them... Some things cannot be explained, but rather experienced. Some of the most healing moments arise when given the memory, acknowledging the love.One cannot go back in time; we move forward, and we carry the love we shared. No one but ourselves has the power to do so, or the permission to do so, but ourselves.So live life with your faith and...
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I've been feeling like I don't matter my wife the other day instead of telling me she was having a pain day when I went to have sex with her she tell me afterwards that she having pain day due to her fribromyalgia and making feel like shit afterward saying she has a list of things from past 9 years of thing for me to do and is always adding more and more to this list and talk...
I would also let him know that unless you can work together respectfully he could either buy out your share or you buy out his OR you can sell the house as is
That's what I would do.... Life's too short short for this BS..... Big hug.... I hope you can find a solution soon.....xo