Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
So, right now, I am only 20 years old. I only make 8.50 an hour, which is 60 cents more than minimum wage. My husband makes 8.50, as well...
Anyway, we live with my mother because we cannot afford to live on our own, even though we desperately want to. My mother is stuck in this fantasy land where she seems completely unaware of the fact that her current career situation IS NOT WORKING.
My mother is a real-estate agent. In case you do not know, this is a job for people who have spouses who make all the dough and need something to keep themselves busy. After all, you only get paid if you can sell or buy for your client....
My mother struggles to make ends meet. Obviously, she is not doing great because she's not a salesperson and the market is bad. Because of her struggles, me and my husband are often left with all the bills. We make very little, so she cleans us out. We don't mind paying our own bills since we live with her, but my mother has no qualms of making us pay for everything.
She often says to me, "you need to get a better job so you can pay the bills." This shows me that she is aware of the fact that she can't make ends meet.
I've tried to help her get a job. She tells me that there "is nothing". However, she has never gone on any interviews, which shows me that she isn't even trying.
It's become obvious she wants to remain a real-estate agent because she can get away with sitting on her ass at home and do nothing for weeks. Then, when she does get a client, she might work 1-3 days a week for a couple months and then MAYBE she will get a sale... MAYBE....
So, she will go months without any paychecks coming in and then suddenly, if she is able to sell a house, she will get a check for about 5,000. Another problem arises.... My mother lacks the ability to be frugal. She spends her money like crazy. She can make a 5,000 check disappear.
Obviously, I cannot argue with her while I live with her, but I fear I will move out and she will still expect money from me.... I understand she is my mother, but I don't want to have to take care of her for the rest of my life, especially when she CHOOSES to not get a real job.
Anyway, we live with my mother because we cannot afford to live on our own, even though we desperately want to. My mother is stuck in this fantasy land where she seems completely unaware of the fact that her current career situation IS NOT WORKING.
My mother is a real-estate agent. In case you do not know, this is a job for people who have spouses who make all the dough and need something to keep themselves busy. After all, you only get paid if you can sell or buy for your client....
My mother struggles to make ends meet. Obviously, she is not doing great because she's not a salesperson and the market is bad. Because of her struggles, me and my husband are often left with all the bills. We make very little, so she cleans us out. We don't mind paying our own bills since we live with her, but my mother has no qualms of making us pay for everything.
She often says to me, "you need to get a better job so you can pay the bills." This shows me that she is aware of the fact that she can't make ends meet.
I've tried to help her get a job. She tells me that there "is nothing". However, she has never gone on any interviews, which shows me that she isn't even trying.
It's become obvious she wants to remain a real-estate agent because she can get away with sitting on her ass at home and do nothing for weeks. Then, when she does get a client, she might work 1-3 days a week for a couple months and then MAYBE she will get a sale... MAYBE....
So, she will go months without any paychecks coming in and then suddenly, if she is able to sell a house, she will get a check for about 5,000. Another problem arises.... My mother lacks the ability to be frugal. She spends her money like crazy. She can make a 5,000 check disappear.
Obviously, I cannot argue with her while I live with her, but I fear I will move out and she will still expect money from me.... I understand she is my mother, but I don't want to have to take care of her for the rest of my life, especially when she CHOOSES to not get a real job.
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grill tonight with charcoal.....turned out good but had some stuff that I had to feed to Belle and Happy because it was grissley. it tasted pretty good and was a perfect mid rare....
Short answer is no you do not have to support mom. You also live with her so should be paying rent. And no you do not have a right to question moms job choice and spending.
My advice is to figure out how you and your husband can get better jobs. Go to school or get some training. Also put away some money each were that mom doesn't know about. Even $20 a wk will be $1040 after a year.
I would also set a rent amount with your mom. I'm guessing you each bring home about $200 a week. So give mom $300/wk for rent and food. That way she had to budget. You can also check into other programs like snap to help you out but it's more important to get better jobs. Mom won't always be around to help you out.
You mother can change, but she'd have to want to. Same goes for you and your husband.
My suggestion is for you and hubby to work as hard as you can and live as frugally as possible in a small flat. Keep expenses to a minimum and use protection since you can't afford a kid.
Give Mom the heads up that come Oct 1st, she'll be left to her own devices, so she better start getting a second job.
BTW, I take offense to the judgement of real estate agents. I think it's a great way to be in business for yourself. I've even thought about doing that for myself, since I have my summers off. And my husband has thought about getting his license to make money. There's honor in that career path; you just have a lazy agent on your hands.
Anyway, I hope I didn't come off to strong, but I think you needed a wake up call. You are trying to blame your mother for your own sad state of affairs.
But the good news is, you can turn it around quickly- you're young!
: D
I think you and DH are very lucky to have such a circumstance that you are able to live with your mother. On your salaries, there would be very few places you could live on your own.
This is a give and take situation. If you want more out of life, you need to go after it and do what it takes to get to that position.