Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
hi. Im zoya from pakistan. I am facing serious problem. please let me know if i am doing right or wrong. i am 26 years old and single and working in a private firm. i cant share my problems at home with my mother or siblings. they dont ask me.i feel hesitation now and unable to share my stuff with anyone at home. i had an affair with my boss. he is married. he started all this. he used to take me for lunch and talked to me for hours. i started involved in him.he is 57 years old but i still loved him. he had sex with me. we had it so many times.i really loved him. i loved him because i thought we would get marry one day. he has three kids and a very good wife.but still he did all this. i m not having sex with him from last 8 months.i came to know he will not marry me and he is not the person i want to be with.now after 2 years i have started liking his son. he is very innocent. i didnot want all this. but his son started talking to me and he liked me.he even proposed me.i tried to stay away from him but i cant do it anymore now. i feel like im in love with him.please tell me if i m not a good girl and doing wrong? "
Unfortunately, no good can come of this. Even if the son and you are a good match, it would only be a matter of time that it came out that you were a sexual partner with your father in law.
Stay away. Ask Allah for forgiveness and to take your desire away from the son.
Get professional help for your problem of not accepting responsibility for allowing yourself to be involved in an affair. (You don't sound like you are owning any part in it.) And when you are ready for marriage, look to your family to find a good spouse for you and never look back. I feel that's your only way at this point.
Then when the son comes to you about it, act hurt and say that you have to respect the father's wish.
Then never speak to the boy again and look for another job.
Now you "can't" stay away from his son.
I agree that no good can come from this. Think of how hurt and betrayed his son, his mother, and his other siblings would feel when the truth of you and his father comes out.
& it would.
Seems to me that the best advice is to find another job and leave this poor family alone.
Sorry...but since you asked...your actions are NOT one of a 'good girl'.
Just my opinion, o' course.
I also agree with Reeling that sooner or later, all of this will come out. When that happens you do not need to be entwined in that family. For God's sake, leave the son alone and try to find another job in another town if possible. I will not say you are a bad girl because I give you the benefit of a doubt and say that you have learned from this. But if you put your foot right back into it by becoming involved with the son, then IMO you will be making a huge mistake for everyone involved.
best of luck to you,
--EJ
Leave the son alone, there's no good that could come out of that relationship. I also agree, it's time for you to move on to another company and get away from this father and son. You also need to consider your own safety, laws and religious customs and abide by those laws and beliefs. You're simply not living in an environment that allows you certain freedoms of choice.
Can you end contact with both of them? I don't know that telling the father would be a good idea just incase he got mad and violent with you..
You certainly have a flair for the dramatic.
I hope you're okay!
You cannot have a relationship with a father and then his son and expect everything to be o.k. This will turn out to be a nightmare.
Consider this a lesson learned in life and move on. There are more men out there.