Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
Nineteen years ago I was a full time stay at home mom of a two year old little boy that was my world. Then I found out that his father was having an affair. When I approached my husband in regards to the affair he pushed me down a flight of stairs and took my son. I could not find him and did not find either of them until I found myself served with divorce papers, a restraining order from my home, my checking account closed and a private investigator following me 24/7 in order to wait for me to go to the grocery store to repossess my vehicle.BLIND SIDED!! This is very important for all of you going through a custody battle to know this term. When the divorce was final and joint custody was set, my ex would move my son around so I could not find him leaving me driving around in a rented car for days searching for my son. The police wouldnt help because it was a family issue and had to be reported to the family court. When my ex was threatened by the judge with a slap on the wrist I was able to pick my son up who would take hours to console because he was two years old and would scream and cry when I would come to get him. Three weeks after my divorce the girlfriend was moved into my home and when I would call I was told by her that he had a new mommy. This went on for another three months until my son would physically run from me while his family stood by watching.I made a decision that sent me into a nervous breakdown. Even writing this now I am in tears, I decided to stop trying. I could not put my baby through it anymore. He is now 21 years old.Throughout the years I kept up with him through very short conversations with my in laws, my ex changed his number and moved and left no paper trail. My son never had a Facebook or any trail on the internet. Until now. My son turned 21 as of March 2016 and I was able to find an address for him living with his father, step mother and half brother. Part of me was hesitant I admit, but the truth needs to be told. My son needs to know that his biological mother never stopped worrying or wondering when he was sick, what his birthdays were like, who kissed him when he was scared or hurt? My son needs to decide for himself whether or not he wants to get to know his biological mother and the whole other family he has. Including a sister, grandmother, aunt, cousins and uncle.I just started my quest and I am interviewing counselors that specialize in this situation as well as legal avenues and sites like this. This is not something I can do alone because it IS going to be the uphill battle of my life, but I know in my heart that this is the right thing to do.I hope this motivates any of you who are separated from your children to use any and all tools you can to find them, they deserve the truth and more importantly they deserve you no matter how old they are or at the very least the choice to want to get to know you. I appreciate whoever you are reading this and any help or feedback is appreciated!
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
That's a difficult story to swallow for a few reasons. If you were a stay at home mom, and he was your world. It stands to reason YOU would have been his world. Why would he cry for hours when he was with the woman who nurtured him? So that is a little hard to believe.
If you had a court order stating joint custody. The police actually would help. I've seen sheriffs deputies assist with pick up for visitation
That doesn't mean you might not be able to have a relationship with your son. Call him up and ask to see him, but leave the lame excuses and blame behind. If a total stranger on the net didn't believe them.. There is no way after being raised by his Father and hearing what ever his Father had to say about you, he might get really angry if you can't take responsibility for giving up.
Just say you didn't have the strength to face the adversity of it all because you were weak but you might be of some help to him in his life now. Stress you want to be there for HIM and leave any talk of your needs and wants out of it. Maybe he could use a Mom in his life now. You'll never know unless you try.
Good Luck
I think it's wise that you involve a therapist to help work through the pain and difficult times for the both of your sakes
I agree that blame won't help however it's important for him to know that you have never stopped loving him and wanting him
I don't know what was going on in the courts 21 years ago re help for a parent who was going through this... It sounds like your whole life was shattered for a time... It must have been really difficult
I had a friend who was kidnapped by her father and 'wicked' stepmother ... She's around 60 now and back then very little was done... No amber alerts... It effected her life so very much
Kudos to you for not giving up and reaching out now... Big hug and a blessing...xo
Is there any national group of kids that were later reunited that you could ask questions of?
degerton- I am so sorry for all you have suffered during all of these years! Please try to ignore the uneducated and ignorant blabbermouths that have no idea how the real world works. I'm sorry you are suffering, but I am glad that you have an opportunity to connect with your son. Also I am glad that you are working with a therapist who specializes in this.