My daughter had cut me out of her life this past year.   Cut me off from my grandchildren.  This has been an on and off relationship for years.  I've been her confidant, her whipping post or years.     A few weeks ago she was diagnosed with breast cancer.   At first she wanted my advise and support.  Which I gave.  I live 2 hours away with a disabled husband,who was just diagnosed with lung cancer, so I am limited to what I am able to do. She said she understood this and told me then that she didn't need help with tests, doctors etc.   That she wanted to go alone.   She also told this to her boyfriend and friends      Just before Christmas she distanced herself from me again.     Said she didn't want to see me or talk to me  Accused be of spreading lies to her stepsister,   used the same very old past hurts she had regarding her childhood.   I was yelled at/hung up on. Told me she didn't need the stress of talking to me.     I was a mess.    I texted her, offering support for her surgery.   I was met with really nasty remarks.  even my son told her that she was mistreating me and to stop it.   Her surgery was yesterday. Again I offered to help, again met with hostility.  So I decided to keep my distance.  I knew  Her father was with her. (he doesnt speak to me)     On that morning I texted her sending my love etc for the surgery.    She said "Thanks for being here".     I had thought she made arrangements for the children 14 and 11.   Apparently she did not.   I don't know where the boyfriend is,    She has her father and brother scambling.    Im actually afraid to call her.  But am torn about going to help her. My husband also has a biopsy on Monday and tests for medical clearance.  He has a heart condition.   I need to be here.  He doesn't want me to go.  Not for himself, but hes afraid Ill just get hurt again.     Don't know what to do!!  I feel like a bad mother!