Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
We were a family of three who is now a family of two. My daughter and I have always been very close, and I must admit that when she reached the age of adulthood it was very difficult for me not to "mother" her. Since my husband's death, she has lived at home after being away at college. I have tried very hard to give her the freedom she was used to having, as long as she remained respectful of me and the house rules I have always maintained (which are just common courtesy and common sense mostly). Well, she's met this guy who is, at least to me, just awful. He doesn't seem to have any motivation or ambition, he has this annoying "suction" thing going on in his nose and sinuses that makes the most disgusting sound, and today he walked right into the house without even knocking. He has "been on unemployment" and does not seem to be actively trying to find alternative employment (my daughter currently has two-three jobs, finishing her second master's degree, and does many volunteer activities). He doesn't take her out on dates, just comes over to our house, plops on the couch, and sniffs. She could do so much better than this guy, but she's not the type to be as free and easy as most young girls are now days, so she doesn't think she's popular and probably thinks she's lucky to get this oaf. I have tried to make my concerns known, but she either is ignoring them or can't see them. i don't want to shove them down her throat, but I am afraid if things progress and she begins to think she is "in love" and they get married, I am afraid she will have a life of waiting on him for everything, getting no support, and ending up unhappy. I know I probably didn't put this in a way to get the full feeling of what I am trying to say, but I am going to throw up if I hear that nasal sucking sound one more time! I don't want to alienate my daugher, but I am going to go crazy soon, and prince charming is beginning to feel way to comfortable in my home. I know that no one would be perfect, but she can do so much better than this guy. Any advice would be appreciated.
Can you ask him to blow his nose rather then sniff because its better to get the gunk out then stay in his system,
Knocking, I'd tell the daughter and the boyfriend that when he comes over you'd ask that he respect your wishes and KNOCK on the front door please.
If he is there all the time then well, money for food would be nice too, because you are now feeding another person and that is not cheap.
Does this 'prince' come over when she is not there? If yes, then tell him to go home as you've things you need to do and don't wish him in your house alone.
I doubt very much that you can say anything to make her see the light on this guy. Could you ask a close friend to speak to her about him? Someone she may respect the advice from.
Best of luck to you and I hope his mooching ways soon turns her off.