Family Issues Support Group

Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.

4,813 Members

5,774 Posts

0 Online

dalystrengther 01/21/2015

my sister told my mom not to come around and she cant see her grankids anymore,, that was 1995, so all this time we have lived with this problem, its been so sad recently mom took the last picture she had of my sister and tore it up and threw it away and started to cry, I didn't know what to do, first my parents get a divorce and mom and me and my sister lived, but something happened and now we live like this, total and complete sadness about the whole thing, I cant even believe this is happeneing because my mom comes from the time when family was everything, and now we are destroyed, I;m crushed what should I do?

epicjourney 01/22/2015

Estrangement within families is actually quite common. It is never a desirable thing but in some cases it is actually preferable to enduring abusive behavior. If there is abuse involved, professional counseling should be sought to make sure that everyone is safe. If the abuse is likely to continue, then estrangement may be the best for everyone.

And even if abuse is not involved, therapy is usually advisable. Estrangement can be very complicated and based on perceptions rather than reality. Someone needs to LISTEN to your sister, without condemnation or judgment. If both sides are open to communicating, then start with baby steps and make it all about family love rather than rehashing "who shot John" in the past. Who was right or wrong 20 years ago simply doesn't matter.

Tell everyone to think of their future generations and the legacy they will be leaving their families.

best of luck
--EJ

epicjourney 01/22/2015

Food for thought:

http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/13574522-the-power-of-a-new-attitude

--EJ

Whitehorses 01/27/2015

I can't add anything better to what epic told you. It's a shock for most families to find themselves in estrangement- land. We just don't usually see it coming. Remember to try to remember that it was not your doing and although you hurt for your mother, your sister has issues with her and not likely you, or am I mistaken?

Have you trIed to talk to your sister about any of this?

Whitehorses 01/27/2015

Best wishes as you go through this.

rosykitten 01/27/2015

My sister and I are not on speaking terms. I cut her off and told her not to come back. It's been 5 years or so. I have my good reasons. It was so much toxic and I couldn't take it.

Life is too short. I know you miss your sister dearly, there's nothing you can do. Let her go and try to enjoy this life you have. Better that way

Join the Conversation