It stinks, I know. But you can't let people like that take you down, even if it is your father. Just tell him that it's not nice to treat you that way, but use it as a way to learn how to deal with stress.

This should be a chance to get stronger. If you see it that way, you can turn this into a good opportunity.

That's bad parenting on his part. No parent should ever say that to a child. Why do you need to remind him that you have bad mental health issues? What does that have to do with him? Why was he a jerk about it? If you are always angry, then that's something you need to work on taking care of yourself. Do you and your dad get along? It seems so that way since you moved back in with him. Arguments are always no fun

What was the huge argument about? And do you recall what happened just before your dad said that to you?

The argument started out as just something stupid. Then we both started to raise our voices a little bit. Every time I raise my voice even a tiny bit he seems to lose his temper. That's when he did just that. Then I said that he knows already that I have mental health problems. Then he accused me of blaming him when I never said such a thing. Sure my mental health is probably genetically inherited but that doesn't mean it's his fault. That's when he when out of the room, slammed the door really hard and said F.... You. He's never said that to me before. He really hurt me that day.

Could it be that he thinks you're using your dx label as a way to not own up and take responsibility of your behavior?

Yes, you have issues. We all do. It may explain certain impulses, but it's not an excuse. We need to learn how to adapt and shape our actions so we are not always being ruled by our dysfunctions.

Next time he sets you off, just walk away.

DeliAnnem> Ok, now I feel like i'm being attacked! My bad schizophrenia, major depression and anxiety disorder are most definitely an excuse for acting the way I do! I have a lot of anger and short temper issues but so does my dad. In fact he can actually be a lot worse than I am. He has a history that I am not so willing to talk about where he has severely lost his temper. There is no chance in hell I am going to let somebody tell me that my mental health hasn't caused my explosions! I hear lots of voices, have lots of fears, delusions, lots of depression/sadness issues and lots of anxiety. One of my many fears is of men when they yell at me, and that's a really big fear of mine. So when my dad yelled and swore at me like that, I got very angry. But at least I didn't swear at him. All I did was remind him that I have lots of mental health issues. I shouldn't have to remind him all the time about my mental health. He has been reminded a ridiculous amount of times about this and its getting very upsetting.

I already know that I need to start walking away from him during an argument. I've tried that before and it doesn't really work.

You are in a toxic stew of a home. Don't kid yourself that you have to live there for financial reasons after a divorce. This is just simply not a good place for you to be.

Work with your social service agency to get independent housing or housing in a halfway house. You'll be a lot better off without this anger and hostility.

Thank you for providing a little more detail, when you did, it gave a more complete picture. I'm sorry this opened you up to feel attacked (I'm sure DeliAnnem didn't mean it that way though), but it helps us give you more useful advice.

Thanks, Modern, for giving me that benefit.

Mjones, I most certainly did not attack you. Your tone is one that puts me on the defensive a bit. Perhaps this is part of the dynamics with you and your father.

I still don't think it's an excuse. I have CPTSD and can trigger. But it's never okay for me to lash out at innocent people. Now, you explained how your father is far from innocent, but every time you explode, you are actually injuring yourself. So you need to take better self-care measures.

Are you currently in therapy or seeing a psych?

Yes I am currently seeing a counselor and a psych. Plus I am in alternative therapy programs. I am also working with an employment specialist to try and find a job so I can move out.

It's good that you're seeking help in order to move out mj ... And it's good that you're seeing a counsellor... Hopefully she/he can work with you on dealing with what triggers you.. It can make such a positive change in your life 'not' to feel you have to take the bait... And it can be learned... Big hug for you and a blessing...x

That's so great you are able to do all of that.

Just think as your dad as getting in the way of your progress- don't let him do that to you. Just take a deep breath and say, "I'm sorry you feel that way." Keep saying that with a level tone and you can remain in control.

That does sound like a good response. I suppose I could try that. That is if I can remember to.

Adult children with emotional and mental health issues sometimes overlook that their behavior and speech can be very trying for their parents to take. Add to that the fact that the parents usually have some issues of their own, and may not be ideally capable of dealing with stress.

I don't think you have to go no-contact with your dad, Mjones, but having your own place will be good for you. Meanwhile, what DeliAnnem said about remaining calm, even in the face of provocation, it's a very good skill to develop. Good for everybody.

It's easier said than done, but it CAN be done. I've got CPTSD from my past and I've had to train myself not to fly off the handle when being triggered. I still can taste the adrenaline in my mouth, but I remind myself to stay calm.

Practice makes permanent... not perfect.