Family & Friends of Cancer Patients Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives, friends and caretakers of cancer patients. It's difficult to find a safe place to talk about caring for a loved one with cancer, and so this group serves as an open forum to foster positivity and support for those going through this tough time.
The Cancer specialist told my mother a few days ago that there was nothing that could be done. Basically she was too sick for chemotherapy or further surgery so we should measure her lifespan in mounthes rather than years.
I was crushed she had been doing so well, I could see her gathering up her strength from the operation on her bowels. She was walking across the room with a walker and had begun to be able to eat things like jello and soup, she was reading her magazines and joking and enerally being her old self. I was telling people that she was getting better, but now it just seemss so futile.
Mom seems to be taking the newes as best as she can, she has accapted it but is determined to make the most out of the time she has. My brother is confused and I'm trying to help him. Dad is falling apart but trying to be strong for the rest of us. I'm angry. If they had just done the surgery a year and a half ago then I might not be losi my mother. I'm angry but I have to be strong for mom, If she's handling this better then I am then I'm being unfair to her. I have decided not to treat her like she's got an expiry date because thats not how she wants to live. Hopefully she should be coming home within the next mounth or so and I have to keep it together.
I was crushed she had been doing so well, I could see her gathering up her strength from the operation on her bowels. She was walking across the room with a walker and had begun to be able to eat things like jello and soup, she was reading her magazines and joking and enerally being her old self. I was telling people that she was getting better, but now it just seemss so futile.
Mom seems to be taking the newes as best as she can, she has accapted it but is determined to make the most out of the time she has. My brother is confused and I'm trying to help him. Dad is falling apart but trying to be strong for the rest of us. I'm angry. If they had just done the surgery a year and a half ago then I might not be losi my mother. I'm angry but I have to be strong for mom, If she's handling this better then I am then I'm being unfair to her. I have decided not to treat her like she's got an expiry date because thats not how she wants to live. Hopefully she should be coming home within the next mounth or so and I have to keep it together.
I happened upon an article in the New Yorker magazine that might be helpful. It is not about grieving but more about the extent of medical intervention we Americans, as a culture, want to do. We keep trying to cheat death and can't seem to face this sad part of life.
Anyway, the article is a long one but I found it informative and helpful in its own way -- it truly put things into perspective.
Here is the link:
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2010/08/02/100802fa_fact_gawande?currentPage=all
God bless you and your family and give your Mom a big hug.
*M
At least mom seems to be ralling abit and they think she might come home soon.
Thank you for the article.
I hope that even in these dark days you and your husband can still find some kind of light. I hope you are are able to have all the strength that you need.