My mom is living with myeloma cancer. Which is in the marrow of her bones, as I watch her go from one state of mind to another it is heartbreaking to see someone you love who was once vibrant and energetic sub come to just existing from day to day.
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Everyone hates me. I can't do anything right and I constantly diassapoint my family, friends, people I don't even know very well. I can't work, go to school, or hold a commitment. And what's worse is that people say "this isn't you" like I don't already know that. I'm not stupid....I don't miss class or break of a commitment bc I want to, it's because I physically CANT do it. I freak out. I want...
I mostly just need to vent, so please disregard if this bores you. Honestly, I am just so tired of trying to date with a chronic illness. It doesn't take long to figure out that when people ask how you are doing - to be polite - they don't actually want to hear the truth because the truth isn't full of sunshine and flowers. So, the habitual answer becomes, "I'm fine", and you stop being real...