For the last 3 years, I have been back together with someone I loved. We found out he had lung cancer. We did a lot of things together i.e. trips, concerts, etc. We seem to be very happy until January. In January he seemed to become very distant. He told me he felt this was his last Christmas. In March he got sick and went to the hospital. I found out his ex-wife took him to the hospital. She works 2 days a week and I work 6. So she offered to help and he allowed her to help. He reassured me there wasn't anything going on between them. He takes heavy medicine and he sleeps a lot. He seems to lose track of time. The more he allowed her to help the less I am able to do. Just recently I found out that she has been messing around with his phone and facebook account to prevent me from reaching him and visa versa. He divorced her because they don't get alone and are not compatible. They aren't loving or affectionate. Things were going well until he got sick in March. Instead of allowing me an opportunity to help, he took that opportunity to away. He told me he wanted me to win and to not change my life for him. I have been pushed out of the picture and it hurts. This was our second chance and now that chance is over. He texts me and says don't give up on him and that he is working hard. He has another surgery on 5 July to remove 4 tumors. In March they removed 9 tumors. Nothing is getting better only worst. I am just so angry and frustrated. He made decisions without even considering me. I am jealous that she is able to help him. I feel rejected. I feel unloved and betrayed. I keep praying cancer will turn around but these surgeries are scary. There is nothing at all I can do. I feel so sad and helpless. I am glad that he has help. I just wish I was able to help.
I hear you all talk about doctors, meds, surgery. Am I crazy? I have stopped seeing doctors all together for my pain. I have scoliosis, bulging discs, degenerative disc disease, neuropathy caused by my sciatic nerve being crushed. I just need a break, do you feel like your doctors REALLY help you? I am just curious...
Feeling lonely today. I wish I had someone to go to the fair with or swimming or watch a movie...out to eat. Just a good person to spend time with.