I don't think you should have stayed home. Your husband needs to learn to take care of himself and there are times you need to put yourself first otherwise your health could be affected. Yes, he can act anyway he likes but that doesn't mean that you have to stay and take his verbal abuse. Is he on medication for bipolar? There are meds out there that could help his behavior. I know there is no easy answer but see if you can get him to a p-doc to check his meds or get him on meds. I wish you the best and I hope things are better.

You were right to go to work. You are right to put yourself first, and as often as possible. You need to maintain your status as wife, not a nanny, maid, doormat or whatever, to what sounds as an immature male, full of self pity and doubt. You don't have much sympathy, I have little to none in my relationship to GF. Repeat after me, you didn't make your husband bipolar and you can't cure his bipolar. I also don't know of any course of treatment for bipolar called sympathy. What this sounds like is your husband is terrified of his ability to cope with reality and that others will realize his weakness, and bipolar isn't the main issue here, its how we take on bipolar. Some of this may be the male ego at its worst but all us men have it. He needs to realize that he needs help and none more blessed than that from a loving wife. Heck we all need help from time to time. Next I suggest you determine your limits, where are your boundaries. I say there's use, misuse, and abuse, for me abuse is a no no, write it out if you have to. Sounds like it might be time to determine is your marriage worth saving?

Going to work, in my opinion, was the right thing to do. For one, it is your job and jobs are difficult to find these days, trust me. For two, that is your livelyhood and also your "alone time" from all of the issues you deal with every day. I feel and understand your pain, as my fiance has Bipolar II and borderline personality disorder.

Instead of asking yourself if you were right or wrong to go to work, maybe try asking yourself if you are right or wrong to stay with him period. I'm currently asking myself that question right now. Things have gotten extremely tough, but she is the mother of our brand new 10 month old baby girl. On one hand, noone deserves to be alone simply because they have an illness, they need someone who is strong enough to work with them and find a way to help them function on a daily basis. On the other hand though, noone deserves to be abused... Not in a "loving" relationship. I've done everything I can do to educate myself on these illnesses and I have seen the struggle first hand for a very long time. I feel I have a very strong education on the diseases at this point in my life, even though my fiance swears I don't.

Maybe try to weigh out the two sides... Yourself, or a life of miserable never-ending fights. Not saying to just give up, God knows I don't want to, but if he can't find help in you and won't attempt to find therapy which helps, then he doesn't seem to be showing much love at all. I'm pretty much giving my fiance these options. Either she starts going back to therapy and have me come along to support her, or at some point we will have a broken family as we go our separate ways.

Since you are still there and you haven't left yet, I can see you love him very much. I love my woman as well. It's a difficult road as well as extreme responsibility when you're in a relationship where your significant other has a mental illness.

For him to not understand that you NEEDED to go to work, that's not acceptable. Most people can't just not go to work and be able to keep their job. I hope things turn out for the best with you guys. I didn't see an answer to the questions above, but is he on medication or in active therapy?

I'm really not the best person to add to this conversation. But this is the exact kind of behavior that made me leave my X. It started with my job, then I couldn't have friends, then I couldn't even look nice, couldn't go to the grocery store alone. Before I knew it my time, my career, my life was an endless cycle of arguments and apologies.
I pray for you to have strength to get through daily. Even though I don't live with my X or even really associate with him anymore. I still deal with the haunting effects his disease has done to me, the once happy go lucky person I was.

I can't answer if you should've gone to work or not, but I understand staying away. My husband is bipolar as well. If he's not medicated, try to get him to go to a psychiatrist and get meds. They help. It can be a real dance and a long process to find what works best for him, but it is worth it. We are doing that dance now and have been since November. My husband is nasty as can be when manic or depressed and wonderful the little times in-between over the past 15 yrs of our marriage. BP sucks. That is all there is to it. NOT arguing is your best course. You CAN ask him to treat you with respect and remind him that he controls himself in other places and with other ppl, he can work harder to control himself with you. Stay calm. Walk away. I am almost constantly on the verge of tears. I understand. Get him help.