Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.
I am having a rough time right now. My husband is in another episode again. He starts with me every weekend now. He gets angry even if I ask what he wants for dinner. I called on my way home from work and asked what he wanted for dinner and he screamed at me that I am unorganized and have no foresight and he is sick of me asking what he wants for dinner. I made dinner and yelled it was ready. He never came down, but after my son and I ate he came down and yelled at my son how he wasn't invited for dinner. He took his car away from him. I really lost my temper today and really went at him and started yelling at him and we just got into a really big argument. He threw things around. I admit I got in his face, but nothing became physical. He told me I should just take this and it will blow over and now I just made everything worse for me and our son. I know I am not suppose to fight back but he really pushed my buttons and he took my son's car away from him and told him it was because of me. Now my son is mad at me because I told him I wouldn't get angry at my husband while he was home. Its such a mess. I just don't want this anymore, I feel like a bad person for not being more supportive of his illness, at least that is what he tells me. I fell so alone right now. I have no money to leave and if I do, we would lose the house. I can't ask him to leave because I cant afford it on my own. I feel so trapped and scarred. My family doesn't know how bad it has gotten and frankly I'm so embarrassed on how he treats me. I feel so degraded. I wish I knew what the right thing is to do. He is so angry now and I don't think we can get passed this one. I am going to move my things into the spare bedroom over the weekend as a start. I am beginning to think I should just walk away from everything and just start over with nothing. I don't even know the damage this is doing to my son. He is scared of his dad and I hate that he sees this. I have tried to explain to him the illness, but I don't think he understands the full extent of everything. I know if I leave, he will never see his dad again. My husband won't have anything to do with him.I know I shouldn't have lost my temper. I feel really bad I didn't keep my word to my son. I know my son just wants me to leave him so he won't have to go through this, but he doesn't understand I don't have the money to just leave, but I should. I don't think I even love him anymore, he just killing all my feelings. I feel bad all the time because I can't be myself. I am beginning to think I am a bad person why else would my life be like this. I am sorry I am rambling on I just needed someplace to vent.
Can you guys take a break? Maybe spend the weekend with friends or family? Just to relieve some of the tension? Is there a way you could save up if you needed to move? Are you all in counseling? There are free groups NAMI and DBSA that could help. Sorry I don't have much in the way of advice, but I am in such a similar situation and understand.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aK9EAKBXMQY
There are others for various situations. Look them up under EFT and whatever else on youtube.
I am in a similar situation.
Be aware that exercise as well as liquid vitamins do wonders, too. One girl on this page said her mom (who was bp1) trained for a marathon and it worked - rare instances of mania afterward. If he gets really violent, call 911 and ask the to take him for an emergency psychiatric eval. Helps if a medical professional gives a call after theyy get there to corroberate. Normally done after a psychotic break only but not if they can get away with taking him with advice of medical professional. U might document what he is doing. Create a hidden email address on gmail.
I feel for u. Is it embarrassing to go out with him? I feel dmbarrasses bc everyone is scared of my husband. Thank g-d we are separating sometime soon.
The decision to stay or go is horrible. I didn't have money either, but I just COULD NOT go on. Anything is better than that life.
I ultimately made the decision to stay. Although I was aware that if I chose to stay, I was accepting this illness. And I don't make excuses for him anymore or the choices I've made. It's not all his fault and I chose this life with him.
But I believe you should not live a miserable life. We are supposed to be supportive of them, not be doormats. We can help them, but sometimes they don't help themselves. Perhaps if you leave, it will wake him up to what he's doing.
Whatever you do, we understand what you're going through. But you may have to do what is best for you, even though it's hard.
Good luck!
Don't excuse his behavior to anyone, and don't take responsibility for it. When my husband does something rude, I just point out to the offended person that I am not him, and continue the relationship I want to have with that person. If anyone questions his behavior to me, I suggest that they ask him.
I wish you luck. This isn't an easy relationship to choose.
Do you know how they recommend treatment for families of people with alcohol and drug addiction? I think it might be helpful for your son and you to go get some counseling if you can. I know it would be hard but it sounds like the both of you have this burden you're carrying dealing with everything that comes with your husband's episodes and it can be so overwhelming. Plus, it would be a good chance for you and your son to release some of the pent up negative feelings you've been strapped with lately. You aren't on your own. None of us are and we have each other on this website and I think in helping one another we help ourselves. Please don't be so hard on yourself.. don't forget who you are. No one deserves this. I'm sure you are a good person. I know I am and you and I are in the SAME boat, sister! There is no way we could've seen this coming .. there's no way to stop it or control it and we did nothing to make it happen. All we can do is COPE. Whatever that means for you, I will pray tonight that you find some peace in this chaos.