My husband has either bipolar or schizoaffective disorder. They're both quite similar. I can generally be supportive because I have lived many years with major depressive disorder. However, he told me last night that's he in a mixed state. He wishes he it would switch to either one or the other. And I have no idea what that is like.

My preference would be to ask him what it's like and learn what he feels like, but when he gets a certain way (like he is right now), he become very defensive whenever I ask how he is doing. It's gotten better since we were first dating. I used to ask him how he was doing when we would first see each other, and he would get so defensive and completely avoid the question because past experience had taught him that people only ask how you're doing because they want to use it against you. I remember a terrible fight when I was "crying at him" (he said), and I finally told him that even if he couldn't believe that I really cared, I was still going to ask because I do care. And he chose to believe that I care.

Most of the time, he responds genuinely now. But I know that in this state he's in right now, he's either not going to tell me how he's really doing, or he's going to get angry because I'm "not giving him the space he needs to get himself better". I'm not afraid of him at all, but I feel so sad when he's not okay, and I want to do what I can to help him and not give him fodder for more delusions or paranoia.

So can anyone tell me what a mixed state is? What does it feel like? How can I help him?