Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group

This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.

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Mental Health
/ Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group

Wait or not to wait - not sure.

MentalToll
MentalToll

Hi, I just joined this group. My mom was diagnosed with bipolar over 30 years ago when i was a teenager. For the most part, it's been stable although never normal. Few days ago she stopped picking up mine or any phone calls and I live about 2000km from her. I normally speak to her once or twice per week. The last time she disconnected her phone was about 15 years ago, that's when she stopped taking her pills and I had to go there to reason with her to start taking pills and deal with her behaviour where she gave away a lot of her stuff and drag her to her physician. i'm scared that it will be a repeat and not sure if i should jump on a plane to prevent similar situation. I called her landlady who went in to check and said my mom answered the door and looked fine, and said she will call her daughter but she never did. The last time I spoke with my mom was a week and half ago. To me this is unusual. Do I jump on the plane? Do I give it a week? I work full time so debating how best to balance all of this. Welcome any suggestions/thoughts. 

Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
I would call her a couple of more times and you can call the police to do a wellness check on your mom and ask to have her call you again

Maybe her phone isn't working right if she's okay??…. I hope that she is..... It's nice that you're willing to make the trip

If she isn't compliant perhaps you could talk to Adult Protective Services and see if they have any thoughts about what you should do
MentalToll
MentalToll
Thanks you SunCloud ID. My mom's phone is working, she finally picked up and held the receiver for 20 or seconds and hanged up. I've been leaving messages asking her how she is feeling, whether I did anything to upset her and if so let's talk like we normally do but nothing. I've been in touch with the distress centre who I think can also come out and do a high level check. My mom is not open to such things. Something is off. I am flying tomorrow to see her but no guarantee she will even let me in or talk to me. I plan to make an appointment with her physician to give me an update as to what's happening when I'm there. What are Adult Protective Services? Are they offered in Canada? Thanks again.
Kayleigh89
Kayleigh89
Wow I completely understand this situation- needing to not only be there emotionally by physically as well. I certainly hope your mom is well? Did you get to go inside and discuss with her? And yes I believe that same kind of service is located in Canada as well. Google it and I am sure you’ll find a number to call!
MentalToll
MentalToll
Hi Kayleigh89, thank you for your post. My mom was happy to see me but wouldn't speak. She got into her head that she cannot speak because people in her past (that she no longer deals with but had bad experience with) told her that if she speaks means she is jealous. It took me not even a full hour of probing her before she realized her thoughts were off and she started talking again. My mom's english is not that good so support group for bipolar is out. We met with her GP who's been looking after her for most of her illness. He was open to refer her to a psychiatrist for an re-assessment but I noticed that he didn't think much could be done but also when my mom found out that her meds might be changed she said no because she had really bad experience when medication was changed on her, becoming extremely restless and anxious. I completely understand my mom not wanting to change her medication as she was struggling so much on different meds.
As a result of the meeting with the GP I can reach out to him to flag that something is not okay and he will automatically call my mom for an appointment, although it sounded like he sees my mom ever 2-3 months.

Thank you again for your support.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
It's good that your mom is being referred to a psychiatrist..... They are 'experts' in psych medicine

It's great that she has a good GP that cares about her however psych is not their expertise with all due respect

If your mom is in Canada I would ask her doctor to refer her to Community Care.... I actually worked in this field for 15 years and was on a mental health team

She can have a nurse visit her at home however they deem she needs weekly, biweekly or more frequently if they think so.... This is covered by our government insurance
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
They will also assess whether she may needs to help in other areas such as help with bathing or nail cutting etc
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