Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.
So often lately, when someone says a kind word to me, I really question their motives. I am torn between what they hope to gain by being nice.
Do people be nice just to be nice anymore?
I find that if I start to think that someone is being nice to me because they might genuinely like me, then I see that they have been doing the same to someone else, I feel that I am even more sad then before. As if I feel even less special. That they do that for everyone and I guess I am not that likeable after all. Perhaps it is my own little pity party. But I just can't seem to get to the point where I can get excited about being involved with someone when I can't get to the point where I am made to feel special any more.
Does anyone else feel this way?
Do people be nice just to be nice anymore?
I find that if I start to think that someone is being nice to me because they might genuinely like me, then I see that they have been doing the same to someone else, I feel that I am even more sad then before. As if I feel even less special. That they do that for everyone and I guess I am not that likeable after all. Perhaps it is my own little pity party. But I just can't seem to get to the point where I can get excited about being involved with someone when I can't get to the point where I am made to feel special any more.
Does anyone else feel this way?
Not everyone wants something from others. It used to be normal for people to be kind and considerate yet when people are faced with someone that treats them well there is always a bit of suspicion. When we moved from the west cost to the heartland my wife was tickled pick that guys actually held the door open for her and offered to help her with the groceries. She was so used to rudeness.
In your case I kind of wonder have you talked to a therapist about the past with your X? I kind of suspect that some of these issues are stemming from the abuse you recieved.
If you ever need to chat please feel free to send me an email.
However, I know where you are coming from. I have a hard time accepting when others act kindly towards me; I always question motives. This is especially true with guys. People think I am some sort of frigid bitch because I resist getting over involved with anyone, because I think that they are using me for something. I used to be really bad about this, but have loosened up over the years with the help of therapy. Alot of that had to do with my anxiety and fear of not being accepted...have you ever talked to a therapist about this? It might be worth it.
Hablur is right though, you are a great person that is truly worthy of people's attention and affections!
-Nicole
You are special, and worthy...as you are. I know the relationship frustration there though.... =/ i just can't deal with the idea atm. but i know it'll change one day =] it gets better.... when your least expecting it yeah?
i totally know what you mean 'bout guys nlinvil! it's still hard even on here. . . never put together the reasons behind it.
thanx