Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group

This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.

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Madethkat 08/14/2018

My husband has been so emotionally distant for the past few months. Has been breaking plans at the last minute, without letting me know. We do not live together. He will be fantastic one day and nothing the next. He broke plans again last week and was supposed to come over by train so we could go on vacation and take our kids to his dads for a week. He quit his job the week before after missing 3 days in less than 2 weeks. He keeps telling me we have had conversations about things we did not, or only part of. I told him I was sick of him doing this and that I was done for awhile. Well he hung up on me. I tried to call him later to explain and hope he calmed down. Would not answer the phone but sent me a million text about how he is sick of MY crap and should have been done with me along time ago. Then what a bad mom I am and he cant believe he let me raise our kids! AND he is scared of what I may be teaching them! What a bunch of garbage! Then he waited 5 days and deleted and blocked me on fb! And he had court for child support last Fridat, not just regular, in front of the judge for contempt, AND he didnt go! They ordered him to sit 60 days!

I know he has been manic lately, but he just is making things terrible for himself. I know he does not mean the things he said to me, but it still hurts. Very hard to watch him self destruct.

AutumnRain 08/14/2018

It is extremely difficult to watch someone in their downward spiral. My husband seems to be completely unaware of how he appears & how I perceive him. I often feel like I'm barely holding myself together. I can only imagine what you're going through, but you aren't alone. Just keep moving forward and doing the best you can. You can't control anyone but yourself.

Madethkat 08/15/2018

Thanks AutumnRain. I do keep moving but it is hard sometimes. I get what you are saying about the perception. Makes me sad because trying to talk does not help. You hang in and do you the best you can. Hugs.

fakeblonde 08/19/2018

I'm so sorry, I really feel for you and your kids. How do they feel about all of this? I hope they're ok, but even being a great mom doesn't take the place the father is supposed to fulfill. I know my husband's disorder has lost him contact with his own grown children and my son doesn't want anything to do with him either at this point. I know how the constant not showing up or being there for kids can affect them. Like AutumnRain said, we can't control others, only our reaction and our own behavior. I hope you were still able to enjoy that time with your kids. Make some good memories with them and enjoy every second you have with them. Bipolar disorder is a terrible thing, I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

Madethkat 08/20/2018

Thanks fakeblond. The kids do ok. I have always been honest with them about his illness. He used to also when he was feeling good. My adult son does not really make much effort to get ahold of him. On the upside, the kids had a good vacation and we had fun both weekends when I was there too. Thanks for the support. I hope things are still going well for you too.

AutumnRain 08/21/2018

It sounds like you're doing a good job with the children & keeping things stable on your end. My husband tells me I keep him stable, which makes me wonder because he sometimes doesn't seem stable. It's difficult having to right the ship for everyone all of the time. I hope it doesn't burn you out, Made. Just do your best & trust that your kids appreciate it!

Madethkat 08/21/2018

Hi rain. He does most of the time. Like I said we have been separated for almost 3 yrs now. Had a manic episode 3 weeks ago and wouldnt answer the phone but was texting. Said he is better when he is with me. But then all this... Still haven't talked to him. Gets his feelings hurt with what he wants to hear and done. He has always told me I am a wonderful mom until this last one, then I am horrible. Just par for the course. Not taking meds or seeing anyone since before he moved out. And my kids all know. I have been honest with them since they were old enough. And I have been burned out last few months with how he has been. Was trying to tell him I was done for awhile until he was in a better frame of mind. All he let me say was I'm done, then the bs started. I will be o along with the kids, then the seasons change along with his mood of course. Not trying to contact him as of yet.

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