Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group

This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.

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single mom

Taja954
Taja954
Hi everyone, I am a single mom of a 13 year old son. For the last few months just when I think it cant get any worse it does. I feel just awful because I see the pain he must be in and I cant fix it. How can me as his mother not make this better? I am mad I am sad I am grieving the loss of the life I thought my son would have. Yes I know he can still have a good life but right now I am reallly trying to come to terms with this. You see I really thought that this was something you would grow out of I guess I was in denial. This SUCKS!

This is a post I posted on a yahoo group

I would just like to know if there are any single moms that are
dealing with this with there teen.

My son's father has been inconsistent in his life. I mention this
because I have noticed in the past when his father comes around and is
a part of his life my son acts up and aggressive. The older he gets
the more aggressive he has become. Please I am not blaming his father
I just think that for some reason this is a Target for my son.

Now the visits are court ordered. His father has supervised visits
and when the visits became unsupervised and longer is when my son
became violent towards me. Yes I have told the GAL and my lawyer. My
lawyer sees the connection the Gal does not. It maybe because my son
does not handle transitions well.

Does anyone else notice this and if so what do you do?

I do work at home but i have not been working a whole lot because of
everything going on. How do you get by? I went to get the child
support modified for the first since I got it 12 years ago,. He is
only suppose to pay 107 a month. His dad informed them he cant work
because he has an anxiety problem I am like what about my anxiety. I
have tried to keep his dad envolved and even asked him for ideas.
When I come up with suggestions after researching an idea he can only
tells me what not to do. I tell him he needs to start coming up with
ideas He says he lives with me I need to do it.

How do you handle this on your own? Financially, physically and
emotionally?

Thank you

How do you all cope.
deleted_user
deleted_user
One day at a time, a lot of praying, meds and therpay for everyone in the family. In order to know what this disease does and how to handle things better. Their brains are wored a lot different then ours, we have to adapt a new approach to how we talk to them. This I am learning, one day, one step at a time. sometimes there are good days, sometimes there are bad. I take it as it comes and appreciate the good days so much more.
deleted_user
deleted_user
His father CANT work because of anxiety? Is this his own opinion, or a medical one? Is he on Soc. Sec. Disability?

What about grandparents? Can any of them help?

When I first became a single mom (widow) I found a group therapy (support group w/prof. therapist) for single mothers dealing with depression (of their own and sometimes their kids) and that was very helpful. It also provided a social network sometimes too.

If you click on my profile I have some journal entries with some coping tips.
Taja954
Taja954
nikkisave I hear ya on all accounts. I have gotten creative and at times have known if it was not for the Grace of God. The funny thing is people always tell you to be consistent, but i have found that what works for one day will not work the next so there goes that idea. lol

kristines Up he was diagnosed a year ago when i went to get it modified for the first time he had medical documentation n the mean time he has gone back to school so i am like well he must be cured. lol No he does not get either
And no grandparents to help.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Taja yeah it must be tougher with a teenager. We realized my husband was getting sicker because my 13 year old started acting out. I was so busy with work school and taking care of the kids his acting out prompted me to start looking up my husbands's behavior. My husband was not being truthful with his psych Dr. well he didnt realize because of the BP anything he was doing was wrong. He says now on meds that he feels he has been this way for 15 years. I beleive it, my 5 years with him is like being on a constant roller coaster, what will happen next. I am praying for you and your son to find the strength to deal and live with this.
Taja954
Taja954
I hear yah nikkisav about the roller coaster. I am like if I wanted to go on a roller coaster I would go to a park Hell I dont even like roller coasters so I dont want one in my house.

I also hate this walking on eggshells feeling.

I think it is actually harder for spouses or others to deal with this because I am his mother I dont have a choice if I had a choice with someone else I dont think I could do it. I left his father because he was abusive With my son I wont leave he is my son he will always be my baby
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yes it is tough with a spouse. We only got the dx 2 weeks ago, but he is trying which is all I can hope for. If he had diabetes or cancer I'd still be here. So, I just try to seperate the man from the illness although really I don't know who my husband really is since I've been living with BP not the man for 5 years. Crazy huh! My therapist says it's like this without meds it's a crazy roller coaster ride with meds it's like a baby roller coaster ride. Beter huh! LOL. Sometimes I really just have to step outside myself and take deep deep breaths.