Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.
My mother is bipolar and single and has no friends. Her family doesn't have much to do with her. She has driven almost everyone away. She pretty much just has my sister and I. And my sister doesn't have as much contact as me. The reason I feel guilty is my husband and I like to just go out and do things just the 2 of us. But mum always makes me feel guilty about it and seems upset that she wasn't included. But the reason I don't ask her is she makes me feel stressed the whole time. Now this year has been great with her mood wise but (which I'm very grateful for) but I still know i'll be worried about her whole time if she comes anywhere with us and I won't enjoy myself. I try to plan something every few months that I go with her too that I think I can cope with. I visit her once a week and talk to her on the phone every day. But it's never enough. I feel bad that's she's lonely and hasn't got anyone else to do things with. But doing what I have been is the only way I can cope. But I still feel awful that she's Alone and doesn't do much. She never takes the I lead and arranges or comes up with an idea for a place to go. I would if she did. Am I a bad daughter?
You should Not feel guilty. You do what you can do for your mum,
That is enough. Your mum LOVES you!!!!
I mentioned earlier in our conversation on the phone that I was going Xmas shopping with my husband and I think when she was sad she was hoping Id say to come. But it would just stress me out like I mentioned before. It could stress her out too. She doesnt like shopping and gets stressed with lots of people and even if she was in the best mood ever tomorrow shed end up agitated and I would feel like we couldnt do what we wanted. Or Id feel guilty saying no we dont want to do this we want that, she has a way of making me feel guilty even when not trying. Its just too hard. Maybe I am being selfish but I just dont know what to do.
I even suggested to her to try to take a class or something and meet new people. She just ended the conversation being annoyed at me. Its always my fault. To be honest I dont go out that much. My husband and I go to shopping centres on our days off even if were just window shopping. We occasionally do something else but not much. Then she is annoyed at me or really depressed I dont take her anywhere but I dont go anywhere much! I like being at home. And going out with my husband only. I suffer depression, anxiety and social anxiety and I dont cope well. She doesnt really believe /understand how bad I get because I try to cover it up when Im around her so not to stress her out or anything.
I feel SO bad again. I can just picture her there all alone and crying and I just dont need this. Every time I start to feel a little happy bam. Shes upset again.
Also she was telling me that shes been throwing up and has a really hot head and cant sleep because shes so hot. I really, really hope she just has a bug or its symptoms of menopause. Because I cant take her going manic again. I cant. She wont take medicine or see a doctor. You cant talk her into this stuff. I feel like she is ruining my life and that is an awful thing to say. But what Im I suppose to do, Things would be good if she didnt have bipolar. Its like this curse you can never ever get rid of. I love her and I need her but she just makes everything so hard. ALL I wanted to do was have a nice relaxing night at home with my husband and now I am just going to be sad and feel like crying all night.
Sorry for the long post. I just hurt so much.