Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group

This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.

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/ Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group

short lived peace

shelbyalright
shelbyalright
This am I woke to an exhausting email from the X. He went on and on about how he wishes we could just let by gone be by gones. He insist that I am unwilling to because of wanting control over him and our childs feelings. When its the complete opposite. Every time I trust him that he isn't going to have a "moment" on me and be ugly and mean, I'm the one who spends weeks and weeks recovering. While he gets exactly what he wants. I feel like he just convinces people that he cant help what he does because he feeds off of hurting people. I say this because I have seen how he treats people on the local news blog forum. He's forceful with his opinions, calls names, uses their own words against them, then gets defensive and mean when people fire back from feeling as they are under attack themselves. I know some say I should separate the person from the disease, but it seems to me that he feeds off of the disease. Anytime I feel as though I can breathe and be free of anxiety from this man, he sucks me right back in. I am to many tears from him and I'm exhausted from all the hurtful mean words. Even though they are just words, it hard to recover from them.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh MY Goodness. Seriously, I read that and it could have been me writing it! Only diff is that I am seperated from my husband right now but he acts the same way. I have been forced to question every story he has ever told me, every strong emotion he has displayed. I think that my husband has bipolar disorder AND borderline. From what I have read, the people with borderline have more control. They seem to cycle more quickly and have a tendency to "act out" almost all the time. They make their fears come true in an attempt to protect themselves and make up all kinds of stories about themselves and the people around them in order to build up this facade. Its really sad if you think about it. Hang in there. Know you aren't alone. I have a toddler and I am having to file for divorce now so that my concerns about her custody are heard loud and clear. I'm terrified but I know my husband would be filing any minute. He sucks me in the same as yours does to you. One minute its, "Have fun with your cousin this weekend" and the next its "you go ahead and tell them in court that I'm mean to you" in the most sarcastic tone possible. UGH. He admits to pushing my daughter and myself away and then accuses me of leaving him. Its ridiculous. I guess all we can do is know who WE are and take comfort that we try to do whats best even if our loopy spouses (or exes) like to think otherwise.
shelbyalright
shelbyalright
Dear BlubirdF,

Thank you for replying. I am sorry you struggle through the same issues as I do. I hope that you can remain to become stronger. I have been divorced for over four years now. Every year I get stronger. My pain now comes from watching my child suffer the same anxieties I do and once did from my X's moments.
Everyday I tell myself, no matter what I am strong and all his words are just words. Some days are easier to convince myself.
I will add you to my prayers and hope you can find peace in your new found freedom.
Thank you,
Shelby