hi, I'm not sure what your relationship is with this person but it seems you have taken on the role of carer.

Are you saying that she's not now taking her meds or that you worry she may not?

You say she wasn't compliant but it wasn't because she didn't want to take them - it sems she is incapable of loading up the med containers (I have one myself) - that sounds as if she has a very low level of functioning or is that just confined to sorting her meds?

As to what I feel about it - I'm bipolar and I take responsibility for my meds - for some years I was alone so there was no choice, I had to do it. But then I'm reasonably functional, married again, full time job etc etc.

We are friends - I took her in when I found out her ex-husband was abusing her. She is still recovering from a really long depression (lasted more than a year, getting progressively worse). her eyesight has been affected by the meds - I suspect she's not up to accepting the responsibility for her meds - for now at least. Her level of functioning is not great but getting better. She's happy to cook a meal if I tell her what to make, but somehow she can't figure out a meal on her own, even after I said to her protein, starch and veg. I have to be specific - tell her what to cook and how.

At some level her functioning is much higher - when she visits her daughter's family she helps with the kids (toddler and baby); fetches them from school and such.

She is definitely taking her meds - my concern is not that she won't take them, more that she won't take the right dosages at the right times. I don't know for a fact that she wasn't compliant before, it's just a suspicion.

If you are okay with taking the responsibility for her medication now, then I'd say continue to do it. However, I'd encourage you to start moving more and more of that responsibility back to your friend. She may have too much other stuff going on right now for her to be focused enough to handle everything. Eventually, she will need to learn how to manange on her own. Maybe start slow. Give her the responsibility for one of her meds. See how it goes.

Thankfully, my husband has always been responsible for his medications and done a great job. There have been times I wondered if I'd have to take charge just for a little while during times when there were adjustments in the medication, but he has shown he can do it. But I have found that if I start taking on responsibilities that really should be his, he'll just give me more of them until I'm overwhelmed. Setting and keeping good boundries is really important.

I'm okay with being a support for my husband (finacially, going to dr appts, etc), but I don't want him to become completely dependent on me to manage his BP to the point where he'd be lost if something unexpected were to happen to me.

Your friend is fortunate to have you. Glad to hear she is doing well. I hope that continues.

thanks for the commehnts. the reason why I raised this is that I am concerned about good boundaries, and not doing things she should be doing herself. I discuss stuff with her though, which alsohelps. I also don't want her to feel that she is being treated like a child, which I mentioned to her.

thanks again - this is a tremendous group.