Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.
Hi Yall,
Thought I would take time out of my evening to pop up here and tell ya alittle bit about myself.
Well im from Pittsburgh PA but I live in Texas. I lived with my aunt for 14yrs before I got married in June of 2012.
My aunt is bipolar and cause of her harsh out breaks of mood swings ( mild - serve) it has effected me a lot. when I was little - preteen to teen it really didn't brother me that much I just thought that's how almost every mother was but it didn't start effecting me intill I was in my early 20s. It even is still effecting me even after the wedding and prior to the wedding ( furture husband) and I would be fighting (95%) about what she was throwing a fit about. Anywhos its still stressing me out even tho I live an hour away from her which she cant drive that far cause of a broken tail bone caused by a car crash many many many yrs ago. She causes drama like u will not believe. She is controlling me all the time, she demands things from me, she never ever sees who I really am and just keeps this pic in her head of me as a 12 yr that is ungrateful, selfish, doesn't put anyone 1st, irresponsiable ,. She trys to tell me how to live my life as if I don't know how to do that already. She swears that my marriage isn't going to work out but it is and will be cause what GOD puts together no man shall separate it! Everytime she calls I turn white as a ghost and I feel all the blood rush from my head down to my feet cause I know that she is calling cause she is either mad at me or wants me to do something for her. My aunt also volunteer's me to do something that I wasn't told of intil she already promised to another person that I would do that. I also feel that because of all of this I have major self-steem issues / condfinence issues . Ive been torn down sooo many times over the years and still is being torn down from her flaming mad mind. I just don't know how to stand up to her and tell her how I feel about different things. Im afraid of her in what she might do if I do this or that cause my husband and I are just making it month to month type of bases and cant afford any more financial duties as my aunt likes to take things away from me which she thinks that I will learn from but Im way past that point. But its things like she argeed to do which we didn't ask her to do it for us she came to us and ask us if it would be alright of she did this for us. It just totally stresses me out. And she also treats me like a little kid but I guess most of u already picked that up by now. She doesn't give me any respect but she gives respect to my now Husband since we started dating and takes in the consideration of what he said to her when he stood up to her. BUt if I do that I don't get treated the same way at all. BUT even worse was when I was planning my wedding omg which is to be the most joyfulness time in my life but because of her bipolariness it just made it really bad like for ex: she wanted to go with me for the dress fitting so I asked her to go but she turned it down and told me cause we aruge over everything cause we like different things. and the week of the wedding this is one of the arguments I do remember she got into my face and told me that I wasn't going to be able to see or date my furture husband after the fact the WHOLE wedding was PAID OFF!!! so im like ok so then I go then the next day or so she starts up how the mother of the bride is to be involved in the planning and all omg. Thru the whole process we argued more then normal if that is a normal lol we just argue all the time and its very rare that we do get along but if I say just one thing or do just one thing it could set my aunt off!!!!
Sorry this is long but ive been seeking some place like this for all these yrs!!! OMG. Anywhos do any one have any good advice about how to handle this?? and how for me to stand up to her with out her going off on me?
Thanks for taking this time to read and respond
Mrz Lu
Thought I would take time out of my evening to pop up here and tell ya alittle bit about myself.
Well im from Pittsburgh PA but I live in Texas. I lived with my aunt for 14yrs before I got married in June of 2012.
My aunt is bipolar and cause of her harsh out breaks of mood swings ( mild - serve) it has effected me a lot. when I was little - preteen to teen it really didn't brother me that much I just thought that's how almost every mother was but it didn't start effecting me intill I was in my early 20s. It even is still effecting me even after the wedding and prior to the wedding ( furture husband) and I would be fighting (95%) about what she was throwing a fit about. Anywhos its still stressing me out even tho I live an hour away from her which she cant drive that far cause of a broken tail bone caused by a car crash many many many yrs ago. She causes drama like u will not believe. She is controlling me all the time, she demands things from me, she never ever sees who I really am and just keeps this pic in her head of me as a 12 yr that is ungrateful, selfish, doesn't put anyone 1st, irresponsiable ,. She trys to tell me how to live my life as if I don't know how to do that already. She swears that my marriage isn't going to work out but it is and will be cause what GOD puts together no man shall separate it! Everytime she calls I turn white as a ghost and I feel all the blood rush from my head down to my feet cause I know that she is calling cause she is either mad at me or wants me to do something for her. My aunt also volunteer's me to do something that I wasn't told of intil she already promised to another person that I would do that. I also feel that because of all of this I have major self-steem issues / condfinence issues . Ive been torn down sooo many times over the years and still is being torn down from her flaming mad mind. I just don't know how to stand up to her and tell her how I feel about different things. Im afraid of her in what she might do if I do this or that cause my husband and I are just making it month to month type of bases and cant afford any more financial duties as my aunt likes to take things away from me which she thinks that I will learn from but Im way past that point. But its things like she argeed to do which we didn't ask her to do it for us she came to us and ask us if it would be alright of she did this for us. It just totally stresses me out. And she also treats me like a little kid but I guess most of u already picked that up by now. She doesn't give me any respect but she gives respect to my now Husband since we started dating and takes in the consideration of what he said to her when he stood up to her. BUt if I do that I don't get treated the same way at all. BUT even worse was when I was planning my wedding omg which is to be the most joyfulness time in my life but because of her bipolariness it just made it really bad like for ex: she wanted to go with me for the dress fitting so I asked her to go but she turned it down and told me cause we aruge over everything cause we like different things. and the week of the wedding this is one of the arguments I do remember she got into my face and told me that I wasn't going to be able to see or date my furture husband after the fact the WHOLE wedding was PAID OFF!!! so im like ok so then I go then the next day or so she starts up how the mother of the bride is to be involved in the planning and all omg. Thru the whole process we argued more then normal if that is a normal lol we just argue all the time and its very rare that we do get along but if I say just one thing or do just one thing it could set my aunt off!!!!
Sorry this is long but ive been seeking some place like this for all these yrs!!! OMG. Anywhos do any one have any good advice about how to handle this?? and how for me to stand up to her with out her going off on me?
Thanks for taking this time to read and respond
Mrz Lu
We're glad you're here and hope you can gain lots of knowledge and find comfort. Here are some things you can do
1 Empower yourself I don't know how much you know about the illness but the more you learn about it, the better and that way you know that all the things your aunt does are expected when the illness is not under control.
2 Come here often Read other posts and find out what the behavior/emotional states of other bipolar sufferers are like
3 Understand that because of this terrible Illness people are not themselves. It's like Jekyll/Hide sorry to compare and don't mean to offend anyone with this. When the person is not under hypomania and is usually sweet, kind, nice, etc. The illness makes them the total opposite, rude, cold, mean etc.
4 Don't feel alone, don't be afraid. We're here for you to hear you out
5 Seek help for your aunt, she really needs to get herself under control with medication. Contact NAMI and see how they can help.
Don't want to overwhelm you but there's alot to learn and you have a lot of healing to do. Emotionally, mentally and physically. You need lots of time to focus on yourself and put things in perspective. Last but not least the power of Prayer is amazing. Wish you lots of courage and strength and hope you may begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel. :)
If you learn one thing from all of this. It's like with alcoholics/drug addicts. You can't control it, didn't cause it and can't cure it. They have to want to. It's like any other illness. There is medicine for it, but you can't put it down their throats.
You are not alone. However, this is YOUR life. You have to live it for you and your husband. Don't let someone take your joy away. Set boundaries...
I would go to store and my ex would be laughing and having a good time, and in about 30 mins. of returning, he was pissed about something I didn't know what. No one was home but him.
It is hard on your mind and physical health. You and I have to learn how to take care of US.
Usually it is all about them, but we have to refocus and take care of ourselves.
I'm talking to myself as I write this. I just got a voicemail from ex and he is in a different mood now. He is ruining our grandson. Our grandson has given up on grades, himself, his self esteem. But due to courts I have no control. Even tho we have joint custody.
It is out of my hands. But he is teaching him how to respond to things by anger and then be happy, then up, then down.
Sorry, bad night. rambling on. Keep your chin up and focus on that wonderful hubby of yours. I'm going to. :)
rettarue