Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.
My husband is on two or three different meds, but doesn't seem ok. He is still depressed quite a bit of the time. I thought he wasn't having mania, I think because I didn't recognize it for what it was. .....
He goes for weeks or months with grandiose ideas of what we're going to to with our life...for the last several months he's been on a TEOTWAKI (the end of the world as we know it) thing. I have repeatedly told him to back down, he's got people making fun of him and it's hurting our business. He has bought literally dozens of books about it and several first aid kits, a couple of shotguns, a rifle, etc.. He also throws money around like we make hundreds of thousand of dollars. He hired 8 employees when we were barely able to pay one. He started offering partnership in our business to just nearly anyone he talked to and liked. He gets what I consider to be hyper-sexual and has twice tried to have hook-ups with online people. When we have sex he immediately wants to know when we can again, and can we do (whatever crosses his mind) the next time? He had a "groping and kissing only" affair with one of our employees (who left). He buys lots and lots of sex books to read and sometimes toys (without talking to me...so I'm not interested!). The last time he went on a business trip he took an employee to a strip bar and got a lap dance.... He has periods of time in which he claims to just not remember conversations and events. He will argue with me (and the kids as well as anyone else) that if he'd had that discussion with them, he's sure he'd remember it. He argues that we didn't tell him something, or that he didn't know about something (it can be big or trivial). He stays up all hours and says he can't sleep (nevermind that he drinks 14-18 cups of caffeinated beverages a day, gets no exercise, has apnea and refuses to wear his c-pap).
We have been married for 16 years, but he didn't get treatment for anything until 2005...he's been in therapy, but I don't think they talk about his behavior. Anyway, when he comes "down" from one of his behavior tirades (ALWAYS because I found out about what he was doing) he claims he, "didn't know what he was thinking" and that he needs me to oversee the money and blah, blah, blah.
So I pretty much don't know if what he's doing/done is "normal" for bipolar, and I don't know if I believe him anymore. I want to. I want to think that this IS NORMAL for bi-polar and that he just needs different meds and more/different therapy. I just don't know anymore, I have my own baggage and depression issues that I take antidepressants for and see a therapist...but I'm starting to doubt that he's being honest about his stuff.
Please help me by telling me what your experience is with any of this...is this mania?
He goes for weeks or months with grandiose ideas of what we're going to to with our life...for the last several months he's been on a TEOTWAKI (the end of the world as we know it) thing. I have repeatedly told him to back down, he's got people making fun of him and it's hurting our business. He has bought literally dozens of books about it and several first aid kits, a couple of shotguns, a rifle, etc.. He also throws money around like we make hundreds of thousand of dollars. He hired 8 employees when we were barely able to pay one. He started offering partnership in our business to just nearly anyone he talked to and liked. He gets what I consider to be hyper-sexual and has twice tried to have hook-ups with online people. When we have sex he immediately wants to know when we can again, and can we do (whatever crosses his mind) the next time? He had a "groping and kissing only" affair with one of our employees (who left). He buys lots and lots of sex books to read and sometimes toys (without talking to me...so I'm not interested!). The last time he went on a business trip he took an employee to a strip bar and got a lap dance.... He has periods of time in which he claims to just not remember conversations and events. He will argue with me (and the kids as well as anyone else) that if he'd had that discussion with them, he's sure he'd remember it. He argues that we didn't tell him something, or that he didn't know about something (it can be big or trivial). He stays up all hours and says he can't sleep (nevermind that he drinks 14-18 cups of caffeinated beverages a day, gets no exercise, has apnea and refuses to wear his c-pap).
We have been married for 16 years, but he didn't get treatment for anything until 2005...he's been in therapy, but I don't think they talk about his behavior. Anyway, when he comes "down" from one of his behavior tirades (ALWAYS because I found out about what he was doing) he claims he, "didn't know what he was thinking" and that he needs me to oversee the money and blah, blah, blah.
So I pretty much don't know if what he's doing/done is "normal" for bipolar, and I don't know if I believe him anymore. I want to. I want to think that this IS NORMAL for bi-polar and that he just needs different meds and more/different therapy. I just don't know anymore, I have my own baggage and depression issues that I take antidepressants for and see a therapist...but I'm starting to doubt that he's being honest about his stuff.
Please help me by telling me what your experience is with any of this...is this mania?
-
I find myself going places in the car and not wanting to get out of the car. I come back home and I don't want to get out of the car. I think it's the only time I spend reflecting. Chronic tiredness from Long Covid plus the immunosupressing meds for my Crohn's is slowing me down but everything just seems a massive effort. I am dealing with the paperwork following my father's death but it's not...
-
Wow, it's the middle of the week already!Today is our 11 year anniversary, so we're going out to a nice dinner. I'm losing a lot of sleep these days, hence a wonky schedule and uncomfortable feelings. But I know it will pass, eventually.I hope all of you have a peaceful day, and may good things come your way!
As for the rest of it....at this point, it is about protecting yourself. Start saving money if you can, in a separate account so you will have an "exit fund" if you need to leave the marriage. Realize that it may come down to losing 16 yrs of your life, but do you want to hang around for another 16??
My first H was bipolar and it was just too difficult to be married to him. I was going to kill him or myself or both. My YDS inherited the disorder, and I had to throw him out of our houses, and become estranged from him bc he was destructive. It has been very painful...but I had to protect myself.
I am at least at peace. You cannot have this continue for months bc it will take you down with it. We have NO control over them once non compliance becomes their way of handling their illness.
I hated it once my YDS stopped his meds. He is so different on them, so wonderful. It just hurts. I feel for you...DC