Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.
Haven't posted in awhile but would like some opinions from others who deal with similar situations. So my husband and I have been separated for almost a year. It has been on and off, but had been going ok for the past few months. He had been spending more time with me and we seemed to be making progress.
He does not think he needs to see a pdoc though. He says they all just shove meds at him and he refuses to take them anymore because he feels "more clear" than He has in years. And he will say he's going to go, then change his mind when asked later. (Actually He agreed to go because it was a stipulation of mine when he wanted to move back in.) He thinks we need to see a marriage counselor which is a good idea but pretty ineffective if that's it. And he actually moved out again, which has been 2 or 3 times in past year, because I was asking him about Dr.
Ok to get to the point, it seems to me that anything that is a discussion or heated discussion, he will classify as an argument. His reason not home now because he's going to be alone where he doesn't argue with anyone. If there is any sort of anything that gets him or me upset it's arguing. He is throwing away a family to not have that issue. I tried telling him that every couple has disagreements and that is normal. Not for him he said. Like he can't get agitated at all or he leaves.
And I also had suspected this prior, but he will tell me things that he thinks I won't remember what really happened and use that to be mad at me. Even when I know better he will insist that is not the case.
And aside from not being on any meds at all, which I think he was overmedicated before but did not go to Dr regularly either, He is a daily drinker to self-medicate I think. When asked to slow down or stop he will agree he should slow down but can't say hell never drink again.
Anyone familiar with avoidance issues and not handling disagreeing? And any advice would be appreciated.
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Which explains the mysterious fevers and my extra fatigue. I'm so glad I pushed for answers.
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Due to my increased paranoia, anxiety, and a panic attack over the weekend, my psychiatrist has put me back in a full dose of Zyprexa until further notice. Every time I think I'm getting ahead something happens and it's back to square one. I knew he was gonna do this but I can't help feeling disappointed. It is what it is.
Most people need to be on medication in order to be stable... I know I do.... Sooner or later he is bound to have another 'episode'... If he was overmedicated before that can be dealt with... I have found that my doctors are willing to work with me and I can discuss what's going on with me and my medication with my doctor
Booze is a depressant ... Perhaps he's dealing with more then bipolar??... If he's drinking daily he could be dealing with either alcohol abuse or alcoholism?
This will most definitely be effecting his moods and not in a good way
Unless these things are dealt with you probably won't have a good chance of working out the problems you're dealing with.... There is really good help to be had however he has to want to be well and be stable.... Big hug for you and a blessing......xo
None of this led to good results for us. I waited through his long deep depression, thinking he would recover and return to the wonderful man I know him as. But in the hypomanic phase he turned angry, critical, and insulting; and uncaring about what I do for him. Eventually he turned hostile and stony silent.
Whenever I tried to bring up any of this, he would either explode and leave and not discuss it for up to 2 weeks, or he would go silent. Sometimes he would just say he is not ready to discuss it and tomorrow never comes. He has minimized, dragged his feet, repeatedly pushed off deadlines for action, and gone silent and avoided me many times. I finally realized it would not get better if he was not really willing to do anything about it, and it must be OK enough for him to live this way. Not for me, as this is not a real relationship under these terms. So I broke up with him and am in the process of trying to get him to move out.
From everything I have read, and I am no expert, it seems that without treatment there is little hope of enough stability in the relationship to maintain it. Even with treatment, it takes understanding and both parties to want to work on it.
It does not sound like your guy wants to face this and he would rather leave than deal with it.