The safety of you and your children is first and foremost the most important thing to ensure. You don't say if your bf is receiving treatment from a psychiatrist or taking any medications. Proper diagnosis and treatment is paramount, and a manic episode can be stopped within a relatively short time with medications or hospitalization. If he's destroying the house and has been a danger to others, that can be cause for 5150, which can be initiated by police, a psychiatrist or therapist. If he isn't already receiving treatment,involuntary hopitalization can make it happen.

He stopped taking his medication and does not want to see his psychiatrist. He's been 5150 twice and has calmed down a lot but still very angry and irritable. hoping and praying for his speedy recovery

I hope this is not too harsh, but hoping and praying won't take the place of him being properly medicated. His current condition will most likely worsen considerably if he remains unmedicated. And studies have shown that the brain of the bipolar person actually shrinks, the more time they spend in manic episodes. I hope that your hoping and praying also includes encouraging him to get back o the psychiatrist ASAP, as well as some therapy for yourself and the kids.

It is right for you to take care of yourself and your children first....he needs to learn that his behavior affects the lives of others negatively and destructively. Some day the consequences will catch up with him. You can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves...

This is not your fault. Yes, as partners of people with bipolar we do have to be a bit more mindful of our words and actions and it is important to be aware of triggers and to try to avoid them. That said, you needing to get away and have some space is not a legitimate reason for him to destroy your house, bipolar or not. If he didn't know you were leaving, then maybe a note to let him know would have been a good idea but I don't know the circumstances so I can't say much about that. At the same time, you can't blame yourself for his manic episode and you can't know everything that might trigger him, it's different for everyone with maybe some similarities here and there. I can't tell you how many times I've thought, "If only I hadn't done that or said this, I should have somehow known this would happen."

It sounds like what your boyfriend needs now is professional help, more than what you can providemaybe you can help facilitate that, maybe you can't. Depends on whether he's willing to listen to you and whether he understands there's a problem and wants help. In the meantime, you have to do what's best for you and your kids, and if that means getting out, then do it.

I'm sorry you're in such a hard place right now, I hope things get better soon!

"He stopped taking his medication and does not want to see his psychiatrist." That is the most significant problem, not you!

Although my husband is medicine compliant, it hasn't always been an easy ride. There have been episodes of alcohol abuse (he did stop drinking about 10 years ago), drug abuse, and suicide attempts. There were times when I had (and used) clothes pre-packed, an extra set of keys outside the house and enough money to pay for a hotel room to keep my kids safe. There have also been years when stability has been great! Family vacations, no financial problems, communication and normalcy.

There is no way in the world anyone can predict what will trigger someone with bipolar! Please don't blame yourself for the current situation. For now, take care of yourself and your kiddo. Find the support you need and good luck.

Thanks everyone for your words all of you made me feel so much better :-) I had to leave for two days and I'm happy to report that my absence helped him to the point where he's now calm and more stable. He's taking his medication and I'm much happier and calm. Thanks again to you all :-D

Glad to hear from you! Your never alone......we are always here for you........and it's not your fault :)

Sorry but you have to be safe and protect your children. Having a disease or being in a manic episode is no excuse for bad behavior. If he doesn't have control of his manic episode, what makes you think that you have any power over it? That just doesn't make sense. My mother made me responsible for things that I really had no control over in her bipolar episodes. It took codependency treatment and a lot of counseling to see how manipulative and destructive her disease was. She had more power over whether or not she took control of maintaining her medication and working with her doctor than I did. My experience is that they are master manipulators and great at blaming others for their choices.
Good luck.

I am in the same spot as u expect it is my husband and we have four kids. You did not cause this and that is one thing u should always try to remember. I am still working on how to deal!

His illness is not your fault and never will be. You having to walk on eggshells because he won't take his medicine or get help is unacceptable as a lifestyle. I know. I've been there.

For yours and your kids sake, protect the children first.