Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.
Im new to this site, I really need advise....My husband and I have been married 22 years, we have two kids they are 20 and 18, both live at home. My husband turned 50 this year and has been a very active member of AA for almost 12 years. He had cancer in 2002 and was put on paroxatine for the side effects of chemo. He remained on it up until may this year. I noticed symptoms for years but they never escalated to the point they are at now. I brought him into a crisis center on Friday June 29 ( he only agreed because 1. it was voluntary and 2. they were going to tell me i was "crazy" not him) He was diagnosed with bipolar and in a manic episode...He refused to stay. The following three days he became aggresive and although he never put his hands on me he destroyed property in our home and threw things at me. By monday night i had enough and with my 18 year old daughters encouragement i called the police. The police could not remove him from the home because the last four hours of verbal abuse and threats he did not assault me. the incidents of property damage happened the previouse days and he was locked in his room when police arrived. They told me they would talk to him and let me collect some clothes so i could leave. When they knocked on the door he refused to come out. Upon questioning he insinuated he had weapons in the room with him. The police took him out of the house because of the threat of weapons. He is blaming me for the 3 day hold he is taking meds but wants a divorce.
Here is my question .. How long do i wait to start divorce papers I have stuck through years of his behaviors knowing he was ill and trying to get him help now im scared of his reaction. and m not sure if he really wants to divorce.
We own a business together and i cant run it without him he could hire an office manager to replace me so that leaves me with no income and a lot of debt
Basicly I know that symptoms have been masked for years,he now has meds and after all i have put up with do i wait for meds to work before i get legal help or do i start now to protect myself?
What I can tell you is that you should write your questions and worries down and talk with an attorney about them. What you decide once you have the answers to those questions will be up to you, but it would be good for you to know, for example, what the laws in your state say about a jointly owned family business if you divorce.
I am sorry you find yourself in such a predicament. I do wonder if his outbursts could be a sign of the cancer returning. Bipolar doesn't suddenly develop late in life, although misdiagnosis as something else is unfortunately very common. If I was in your position, I would want to know for certain that the diagnosis was correct, too. Paroxetine can in some people cause personality changes. Have you spoken to his doctor who prescribed that for him? His behavior doesn't sound like bipolar.
Hugs...