I doubt his psychiatrist will speak with you without your husbands consent but I believe you can leave a message.

I am sorry this is happening. Tormenting a two year old is unspeakable. I would not have it either. My husband is bipolar but does not seem to mistreat the two year old. He does not take great care of her but does not torment her at all.
You should leave him because you feel that is what you must do.
I am afraid to leave my husband because....it is complicated but do what you feel you should

tell his psychiatrist - whether he will reply to you or not will be down to him but I think it's worth letting him know.

Yes, you should absolutely contact the psychiatrist. Although they may not be able to speak to you regarding your husband's care, they can and should listen to you, expecially if he is abusive towards the children. Sounds like his meds are not working effectively and he definitely needs help. Maybe you and the kids can stay with some family or friends while he gets stabilized, to save your sanity.

Sorry to hear about your troubles. :(

I go with my husband to most of his doctor's appointments. When he goes alone to his psychiatrist, he tells him "Everything is okay".

And I'm completely floored because it's certainly NOT okay. I even tattle on him to his primary care doctor about how he does not take care of his diabetes. If I don't tell them, they will not have the correct information.

It sounds like your husband is having some major issues, and you have a lot to sort through. But I would not hesitate to contact his doctors.

Good luck!

Unfortunately it is up to your husband whether or not you can speak to the psychiatrist.... or rather whether or not the psychiatrist can speak to you. You can write to the doctor but without your husband's permission she/he can not even respond to you or even acknowledge if they received your letter. However, even without a response I think it is important that the doctor know about your husbands symptoms from other than just your husband. We tend to play down our symptoms and the doctor will not know any better unless he is told.

I can't tell if your H is on meds but sounds like he either is not or else it's not working. It is horrible that you are living like this, but no one can give you marriage advice. If my situation were that extreme, esp. with children, I would be very conflicted. It's scary to think of life on one's own esp. without the extra paycheck and having to raise kids on one's own, but at the same time living with such an extreme situation would be terrible. And then there's the "till death do us part." Someone with very strong religious beliefs would have to think long and hard about this, or even someone with very strong commitment principles.

I'm not sure if your H's dr can see you separately. I have occasionally asked my H if I can go with him to his psych (med check only, not therapist). I am very reluctant to do so but sometimes when he gets extra manicky I do. I might next visit b/c he's been a bit manicky lately.

Can you see an individual therapist for yourself? Is your husband's psych in a group practice with a therapist available that you could see individually?

I've always gone to appts with my husband. Its just what we've always done. Recently he was referred the behavior health for an assessment and they asked him to sign a form giving the doctor permission to speak to me about his diagnosis, treatment and progress etc. Don't know if you have this option. Hang in there and I agree with the others do what you need to do to protect the kids and definately keep the doctor in the loop even if he can't call you back.

Stress from work is what began the downward spiral for my husband too. I'm so sorry that your children are having to deal with this right now. I feel for you. My little one is 10 months old so I have some time yet before she starts noticing that things aren't quite right but I wonder everyday if I will end up in the same place you are now. We want to protect our babies but how do we do that from their fathers in this situation? I don't have advice on that score except to try your best to explain to them that their dad is a good person, just very sick and maybe if there could be some seperation until meds calm him down some.

As far as the talking to his therapist or psychiatrist goes, Thankfully my husband was dilusional enough to think that I wanted to see his therapist for myself (even though it was explained to him clearly several times that it was to help him) so he signed a release. They won't really talk to you about him BUT as someone else said, you can leave a message. What I had to do was write out bullet points of exactly the symptoms my husband was having and how it differed from his normal behavior because time is always short with therapists. Don't give up hope. He might just need his meds changed or maybe a combination of things. I know that its difficult to reason with folks with BPD when things are difficult but I had to really keep bringing up to my hubby that I care about him and want him to get better. Maybe he will consent to a meeting. Maybe you both could go in together? I'll be praying for you and your family. Best of luck!

The one thing that you said that really had me thinking was the stock piling of things. Mostly the weapons part! If he is BP and not thinking clearly then having weapons in the home could be VERY DANGEROUS for you and your children. Definitely call the doctor about that. Although they probably wont discuss your husbands case let them now the severaty. It may be bested to stay with family or friends until his meds are changed or adjusted. I wish you luck and do what's right for you and your family.