Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.
Now that I know he is BP and all the "things" that go along with it. I'm wondering how much of our 3 year relationship and 2 year marriage is lies.
I wonder this because of a situation that happened in December. I found a naked picture of his ex girlfriend's "downstairs" attached to her phone number on his phone. Of course I confronted him about his and about an hour after I went off he finally came up with an excuse why it was there. I say an excuse, because I'm not sure if it was the truth. It seemed more like an "if I say this she'll believe me". I knew that they had been talking because I always check our phone bills to make sure we aren't getting charged for random things and for some reason I just really like looking at it (I'm a receipt checker also!). There were texts at 2 am and when I confronted him about that, he said that there was no way he could have done that, he was sleeping. Well I know for a fact that for awhile there he would go sleep on the couch because the dog and I were snoring too much. Now I know he was texting her. After all this happened he still continued to talk to her, in fact the Monday after I found this picture he calls me from work to tell me that he had talked to her about the situation and yes I had the right to be mad. Well, duh!!
Well he has stopped talking to her (at least via text messaging), except for recently when she told him he is getting married and wants him to be involved in the wedding somehow.
Am I totally off base by not wanting to go? And will I ever know if anything he tells me is the truth? I feel like I've been duped and not sure if I really know the truth. He's really good at "playing".
I wonder this because of a situation that happened in December. I found a naked picture of his ex girlfriend's "downstairs" attached to her phone number on his phone. Of course I confronted him about his and about an hour after I went off he finally came up with an excuse why it was there. I say an excuse, because I'm not sure if it was the truth. It seemed more like an "if I say this she'll believe me". I knew that they had been talking because I always check our phone bills to make sure we aren't getting charged for random things and for some reason I just really like looking at it (I'm a receipt checker also!). There were texts at 2 am and when I confronted him about that, he said that there was no way he could have done that, he was sleeping. Well I know for a fact that for awhile there he would go sleep on the couch because the dog and I were snoring too much. Now I know he was texting her. After all this happened he still continued to talk to her, in fact the Monday after I found this picture he calls me from work to tell me that he had talked to her about the situation and yes I had the right to be mad. Well, duh!!
Well he has stopped talking to her (at least via text messaging), except for recently when she told him he is getting married and wants him to be involved in the wedding somehow.
Am I totally off base by not wanting to go? And will I ever know if anything he tells me is the truth? I feel like I've been duped and not sure if I really know the truth. He's really good at "playing".
She convinces herself that he wants to be with her and I have to write to him and warn him that she is manic again and could turn up at his house.
She also while manic goes back to a place she used to live with my dad on the coast, this was when i was a baby and where she had her first episode, she even got as far as getting to visit with my godmothers father (who was very pleasant, but old and scared) who she had not ever met!!!
It is a strange thing, this linking to past events and trying in a way to relive them, I don't understand why.
I would say neither of you should go to the wedding, maybe you should get in touch with his ex and tell her he is not well right now?
Highexpect-I also think there is more to the story then I'm being told. Every time he mentions her my stomach goes into knots. I don't get that feeling when he talks about any of his other ex's (course he doesn't still talk to any of them). She's always called him for something and his excuse of why he still has her number is so that he can ignore her. All though when the picture thing came up he said that the only reason he had been talking to her was because our relationship was not going well (oblivious to me) and he needed a "friend". So he figured that since she knew him so well, she'd be a good friend to talk to. She lives a couple of hours away and I'm not sure what else I can find out about her. I've talked to his mom about her and her distaste for her is more than mine! I just know I don't have the whole truth and I have a feeling I'll never get it.
Jadzia-Thanks for the advice, but I don't think she'll care that he's not "well" and not sure I even want to talk to her. Might turn into an even worse situation.
HUGS!!!
I wouldn't want to go to the wedding either, but then I'd think about how the two of them would both be there and it would bother me, so I'd go. Not sure that makes sense, but it's what I'd do.
With my BF there are some things I know are the truth, and some things I don't know. I just try to not get bitter towards him when he does lie.
We've dealt with lies and with IMing "friends." I can relate to the stomach being in knots when hearing him talk about her; been there, still deal with it sometimes.
All I can really say to you is know you're not alone. We're here to listen.