Let me first tell you that I know exactly what you are going through and how much it hurts to have this happen to you. I have been a similar route, as have many here and the 'unrequited love' is a part of the BP mixture when not properly medicated or they feel as if you don't deserve to put up with this, etc. I believe in this particular case, that he knows that no matter what, he can always fall back on you, simply b/c you are always letting him know this via text. He's not going to let you know it's over b/c he's too busy fighting himself, let alone for a relationship. You're driving yourself crazy and letting the BP manipulate you, when you want to be the stronger one and help him tackle it. Again, I have been here, but how can you help someone when you succumb to the disease's taunts and jeers? I think you need to take a step away from this all, remember who YOU are and what you are all about. Focus on yourself at this time. It's clear you love him. I know you do. But you can't help someone who won't help themselves. There will be a lowpoint(that you cannot control) and it will be up to him to decide his fate.
I suggest you send him a final message that lets him know that you will be here to help, but you cannot allow yourself to go through a one-way relationship. Or just simply say that you're here for him and leave it at that. I can't tell you what's gonna happen, but I can tell you that you'll regret this for the rest of your life if you don't realize what a great person you are yourself. We'll be here.

I agree with Kuup37, and he has been through more then me. You have to take care of you at this point. Your BF knows you are there, he has to decide on his own to ask for help and he has to accept that help. You can not make him ask and at this point you have friends here that will help you thru it. So for your health and well being listen to Kuup37 and others and take the stand. All of us are here at all different times for you to lean on. Speaking first hand, don't be a afraid to lean on others and talk to them. It helps alot even if it is just a plain old conversation about anything in the world to help you ease your mind. Again you have me as a friend and others, let your friends help.

Yeah, I did just send another text just to tell him that what I said about being here for him still stands even if we're not together. I just said I hoped he was getting help to get himself well again. I know there's nothing more that I can do now, and I'm not expecting a reply anymore.

I totally understand. I've been in the same situation countless times, and without a doubt, is part of the BP phase. Is he on any meds? because if not then you can be sure that is not HIM who wants to hurt you. And he'll be back tou you as soon as the episode is over. And in the meantime, try to enjoy this "me" time, because when he's back, you are going to have to be much stronger..
{{{HUGS}}}

I can really feel how much you are hurting.

You really have got to get some counseling, and focus on yourself. Be good to yourself.

He will not say its over because he needs to keep you hanging on *just in case* he does need you. I think that instead of telling him over and over that you will always be there for him, you need to make him wake up and realize that you might just get fed up with being mistreated and taken for granted.
Let him see you being good to yourself, treating yourself as a person who deserves to count, to be treated well, and will not be treated otherwise.
Instead of saying *I will always be here for you, no matter what* say *If you are ever ready and willing to be in a healthy, loving relationship, let me know. For now, I have to move on and keep myself in one piece, so that I am able to be in a healthy relationship too.*
Then, as hard as it is, DO NOT call him, message him, contact him in any way.
Do anything else. Keep busy. Take a class. Take a walk. Workout at the gym. Call your best friend. Find an Alanon meeting or DBSA or NAMI support group. Go Bolwing with friends....
His behavior will not change until yours does.

Better call on that one than mine, KMom!

Everybody has given u all the advice I could have so what I can offer you is my friendship and no I am in your boat right now. My husband is in denial and wont go for even a second oppinion. He has told me so many times he does not love me but everyone here has made me realize that it is the BP talking. We have been together for 17 1/2 yrs and he started saying that to me when his manic episode started. I can wish you luck and anytime u need an ear to listen to you I',m here!! Take care!!

I wish I could give you some advice, but I can't even help myself right now. But I do know exactly what you are going through and can definitely feel your pain. Be strong and take care of yourself right now. I may not post very often, but I am here every day a couple times a day because I find such comfort in reading the posts and in the words of others. Look to them for strength and you will find it. Good luck to you! ((HUGS))

I know what you are going through LulaMae. I'm going through the same thing myself. I have a BF who is bipolar. He went away 2 weeks ago. The first week he treated me horribly. Wouldn't hardly call and when he did he was usually drunk and treated me very mean. I was thinking, what the hell did I do. I didn't realize what was going on until I put 2&2 together. I never dated anyone who was bipolar before, and although he had told me he was, I was not educated enough to know the symptoms. Since learning, I have been able to cope just a little better. I felt guilty at first because I didn't take the time to really educate myself so I felt guilt about him leaving. Last week was very emotional for me. I went through him being very angry at me, to him wanting to die, to him loving me and my family, to I'm coming home, to the point now is I don't know what I'm going to do. Whew! He couldn't get a hold of me last night on the phone so he called 6:30 this morning. Today is his birthday, so I thought I would answer it. So I did. Now I wondered why. Last night I promised myself that I would not be subject to the emotional abuse, cheating, lying and all that. I understand his condition and I'm willing to support him. But I'm tired of him crossing my boundaries. I told him this morning that I needed some sort of direction this relationship was going. I'm going to support him no matter what, which I have told him that. But I'm not going to be putting all of my energy into it, if we are not going to be together. I know right now is a difficult time for him. He is going through a mixed manic stage, so decisions are going to be hard. But I'm determined I have a life too. I must go on. I think that the only way I'm going to get him to realize that is for me to just go on. It's hard I know, but I have to. I hope that this gives you some insight.

I am right there with you. I have been following the same text, call, door open pattern since Feb. Last week I finally slammed the door. I have given him every chance I can right now. He has gotten on meds and now I am waiting to see what happens. While waiting I am doing everything possible to keep from texting or calling. Yesterday I got a flat on the highway on my way home. All I had was a spare, no jack, nothing else and 6mnths pregnant. Perfect time to call and with a good reason. I didn't I waited; ended up getting help from a stranger and made it home. I truly believe in my heart the only way to know if he really loves me and he really wants me is to let him exp. life without me. He knows I love him that has never been a question he just has to decide what life is to him and if I am supposed to be a part of it. I got to the point that I felt like I was forcing my love on him and that he was here only when he needed a safe place. I want him to want to be here for the right reasons and if after all this is said and done and here is not where he is then at least I know I have done everything and that we are just not. The way I see it now is I have done all the love and support and all it has gotten me or him is more abuse and neglect. I cant handle anymore abuse, he has financially used me, physically used me, and emotionally abused me. I cant live for him anymore I need to live for me, for my kids, and for his unborn baby.
He needs to figure this one out. All the love and support in the world isnt going to keep him here or bring him back unless this is truly what he wants and only he can figure that out.
Not sure it is the right move but it is what all I think I have left to do. Nothing else has worked!!