Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.
Mum is starting to go into this stage of being cranky and mean, no matter what anyone does. It's wrong. Everything is against her. We are all horrible and never listen to her, never check on her or worry about her. When obviously it's ALL I do! You've probably seen how much I have posted here.
I don't ask her about her medication a lot because it sends her into these moods, but when she starts showing signs of any sort of mania or anything especially this rage, I ask for my own peace of mind and for her sake.
So I was talking to her on the phone and she's going on and on about how horrible things are, how this person did this to her and this person did that to her etc. She's had more time of work, and the doctors an idiot. And that she has a headache (which is something that happens to her before a manic episodes). So I asked about medication and she's like yes, talking to me horrible. Saying I never ask only when I think something is wrong. (Well why wouldn't I ask when I think something is wrong for God sake) And I don't ask at other times because it makes her angry and upset. She told me I let things go until it's too late (Talking about her getting sick I think) How dare she say that. ALL I do is worry and think about her. I Do anything I can to help her. It might not be enough but I don't know what else to do, or I'm not capable of more.
AND why is it just my responsibility. She won't learn about bipolar, see the doctor more then to get a prescription. Won't set up a plan for manic episodes. Won't do anything and if I bring it up it makes stuff worse.
I am so upset and so angry right now. And hate that. I try not to get mad because I know it's not her fault. It's the bipolar...but she won't help her self.
Keeps screwing up her life and then getting mad at everyone else.
I HATE when she gets like this, it's horrible to have your own mother treat you so bad when all you have ever done is try to help her.
And if she doesn't get it under control, she could end up gong psychotic yet again. I can't take anymore. She need to take her antipsychotic. She takes her mood stabilizer everyday, but she asked the doctor if she could just take the antipsychotic when she needs it to help with the cost. He said yes, but she needs it all the time because it seems to be the only thing that stops her cycling. The only take it when she needs it would work if she knew when she freaking needs it. But she thinks she's fine until it's pretty much too late, things are terrible, she's psychotic and has done god knows what.
She won't listen to me and my sister, we can see well before she does and try to make her understand, but she just gets madder and meaner. My sister is going to talk to her in a little while and see if she can get her to take it. I did the last time after a lot of being screamed at.
I can't take this.
My fiancs Nan died on Monday, her funeral is tomorrow, I need to be there for him, I can't have her going around like a lunatic, especially right now. He needs me too. She's not he only one in my life.
She think (Especially in an episode) that the Earth revolves around her. Everyone else is horrible even though she is being extremely rude and horrible to other people.
Sorry it's long.
I need someone elses opinions, stories, anything please.
I am getting to the point I dont want to be around her, even when she is well (which I feel so guilty and awful about) I love her so much. But things arent getting better. She seems to think having bipolar effects only her life. Not that she is hurting me and my sister terribly. That my sister and I have a lot of issues separate from her that cause a lot of pain and stress and then add this all on top.
What are we suppose to do?
I don't ask her about her medication a lot because it sends her into these moods, but when she starts showing signs of any sort of mania or anything especially this rage, I ask for my own peace of mind and for her sake.
So I was talking to her on the phone and she's going on and on about how horrible things are, how this person did this to her and this person did that to her etc. She's had more time of work, and the doctors an idiot. And that she has a headache (which is something that happens to her before a manic episodes). So I asked about medication and she's like yes, talking to me horrible. Saying I never ask only when I think something is wrong. (Well why wouldn't I ask when I think something is wrong for God sake) And I don't ask at other times because it makes her angry and upset. She told me I let things go until it's too late (Talking about her getting sick I think) How dare she say that. ALL I do is worry and think about her. I Do anything I can to help her. It might not be enough but I don't know what else to do, or I'm not capable of more.
AND why is it just my responsibility. She won't learn about bipolar, see the doctor more then to get a prescription. Won't set up a plan for manic episodes. Won't do anything and if I bring it up it makes stuff worse.
I am so upset and so angry right now. And hate that. I try not to get mad because I know it's not her fault. It's the bipolar...but she won't help her self.
Keeps screwing up her life and then getting mad at everyone else.
I HATE when she gets like this, it's horrible to have your own mother treat you so bad when all you have ever done is try to help her.
And if she doesn't get it under control, she could end up gong psychotic yet again. I can't take anymore. She need to take her antipsychotic. She takes her mood stabilizer everyday, but she asked the doctor if she could just take the antipsychotic when she needs it to help with the cost. He said yes, but she needs it all the time because it seems to be the only thing that stops her cycling. The only take it when she needs it would work if she knew when she freaking needs it. But she thinks she's fine until it's pretty much too late, things are terrible, she's psychotic and has done god knows what.
She won't listen to me and my sister, we can see well before she does and try to make her understand, but she just gets madder and meaner. My sister is going to talk to her in a little while and see if she can get her to take it. I did the last time after a lot of being screamed at.
I can't take this.
My fiancs Nan died on Monday, her funeral is tomorrow, I need to be there for him, I can't have her going around like a lunatic, especially right now. He needs me too. She's not he only one in my life.
She think (Especially in an episode) that the Earth revolves around her. Everyone else is horrible even though she is being extremely rude and horrible to other people.
Sorry it's long.
I need someone elses opinions, stories, anything please.
I am getting to the point I dont want to be around her, even when she is well (which I feel so guilty and awful about) I love her so much. But things arent getting better. She seems to think having bipolar effects only her life. Not that she is hurting me and my sister terribly. That my sister and I have a lot of issues separate from her that cause a lot of pain and stress and then add this all on top.
What are we suppose to do?
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I find myself going places in the car and not wanting to get out of the car. I come back home and I don't want to get out of the car. I think it's the only time I spend reflecting. Chronic tiredness from Long Covid plus the immunosupressing meds for my Crohn's is slowing me down but everything just seems a massive effort. I am dealing with the paperwork following my father's death but it's not...
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Wow, it's the middle of the week already!Today is our 11 year anniversary, so we're going out to a nice dinner. I'm losing a lot of sleep these days, hence a wonky schedule and uncomfortable feelings. But I know it will pass, eventually.I hope all of you have a peaceful day, and may good things come your way!
I wish I had some good advice for you, but honestly I don't. Sometimes it seems all we can do is remain strong and positive (even when it means we have to be the bad guy).
I don't know your situation very well, but I think it's important for you to lead your life without feeling guilty. Encourage her to take her antipsychotics, but you can't be everywhere all the time. Sometimes I feel angry and overwhelmed too. But we need to take care of ourselves in order to support others.
God bless and good luck.
I'll add something that is probably not going to be very helpful. some questions,
1. do her moods shift real quick? like they can change several times in a day or few days?
2. Does she either think a person is great, and then decide they are really bad? And maybe back?
3. does she have periods of weeks/months when she is neither really up or really down, either normal or just slightly depressed?
I know it is very hard, but try to keep your chin up and remember that IT IS NOT YOU! And just be there for your boyfriend tomorrow, focusing all your energies on him right now (and on whatever you need to do for YOURSELF-don't forget to take care of yourSELF too!).
Take care sweetie.
to answer acuiousfish
1. her moods shift more like every few weeks.
2. Yes with people she does that.
3. She has periods (weeks) when she seems 'normal' or depressed yes.
She los her job today so that's just great. Great for her mood and state of mind. Great since she is in debt for over $10,000.
She keeps getting mad that in her words 'she has no life'. My sister and I can't do more then we do in that aspect. I try to make her relise that that is up to her, to make more of her life, make firends. That I can't fix that for her. But I still feel like I'm getting blamed for it. Made to feel guilty beyond belief for having what I have in my life.