Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.
Last night we had an explosion in our house courtesy of my son, my middle kid,19. He's always had problems. Dx with ADHD at 4, tourettes at 6, OCD, learning difficulties, had to drag him through school but we did get him to graduate by sheer determination. But he's always had really bad moods. Thought they were the rages, etc from TS. Now I'm starting to think maybe more to this. Last night was last straw. Flippin out shouting fight between him, his sister and me, He totally doesn't get his part in anything. He doesn't understand how we see him and how he affects us. Finally he got so mad he slapped his sister (she is BP) across the face.
I tried to get him to just leave the room, go upstairs, go shower, go to bed, etc. Had been trying for an hour before this. Now I was telling him he had to. He was obstinant and refused.
I had to wake his older brother because I was actually a little scared of where this might go and wanted to keep a lid on it before it got out of control.
Oldest stepped in, saw our side, heard his, told him he didn't get it, made him madder. But at least my daughter felt safer with her big brother around. And we went upstairs together (3ofus).
Then I heard 1st son in shower sobbing. It broke my heart. I can barely see through my tears to type this. I've been crying for hours.
I tried to get him to just leave the room, go upstairs, go shower, go to bed, etc. Had been trying for an hour before this. Now I was telling him he had to. He was obstinant and refused.
I had to wake his older brother because I was actually a little scared of where this might go and wanted to keep a lid on it before it got out of control.
Oldest stepped in, saw our side, heard his, told him he didn't get it, made him madder. But at least my daughter felt safer with her big brother around. And we went upstairs together (3ofus).
Then I heard 1st son in shower sobbing. It broke my heart. I can barely see through my tears to type this. I've been crying for hours.
i take him on may 2nd to see the doc.. i fear the worst..
Thank goodness you are trying to understand and figure him out and not just kicking him out.My son is only 10 but has BP/OCD/ADHD and I can relate totally to the rage and the not getting his part.OMG that is so my son when he is having an episode.Do you think he will go to the DR or needs a med adjustment? I will pray for you guys.:)
Your 19yo son probably really does NOT understand how his behavior effects others. He probably really does feel horrible aafter an episode like that.
You dont mention what, if any, medications he might take, or if he currently in therapy.
It sounds like this might be a good opportunity to sit him down and talk about getting him some counseling, and medication, or a medication change. Explain that you dont want him or the rest of you to keep having situations that are destroying your relationships. He will be most receptive to this right after an argument like that. Assure him that he is loved, but that there are some behaviors that can not be tolerated, and you want to help him gain control of his behavior.
There is a post called Coping Skills: Detachment, that might be helpful for you on the main Family and Friends discussion page.
After reading your post and profile, gratitude awoke me like Tinkerbell's fairy dust! How I remember my BP child verbally ripping me apart, hatefully pushing every button, and as she got older, the back of my mind physically scared she would self-harm or hurt me. Then, minutes later, I would hear her sincere, heartbreaking cries upstairs. I felt heartsick and powerless. This was at the beginning of her journey, the therapy, the right medications search, and finally listening to those around me to start taking care of me first.
Please keep posting. Question? Do your kids still have health coverage or are they too old? Take very good care of yourself.
kathy