Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.
My mum has Bipolar and it's destroying my life. She is on medication and seems ok. But She was on medication (different medication) when she had a psychotic episode. This was her 2nd psychotic episode and she was only diagnosed in 2007. I live my life in constant fear that any second our lives could be destroyed again if something goes wrong. Every time the phone rings I nearly die because I'm scared somethings happened with her. Every time she has a down day I'm scared. I suffer from depression and anxiety myself and I don't know what to do because Im constantly worried sick, even when she is ok. Because I'm scared that one day she might not be again. I can't go through it again I can't. Both her episode have bee very, very, very bad. She has very angry days and depressed days which are hard but I can cope, but not with the fear that she'll los her mind and do God knows what again. She's my mother. People say just don't worry if it happens it happens. But I can't let it happen. I can't go through it again. They have no idea what it's like scared to death that any second you mum will lose her mind. She isn't who she use to be which is hard enough. Please some one help me, any advice or experience or anything Please. I want to be happy again.
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I find myself going places in the car and not wanting to get out of the car. I come back home and I don't want to get out of the car. I think it's the only time I spend reflecting. Chronic tiredness from Long Covid plus the immunosupressing meds for my Crohn's is slowing me down but everything just seems a massive effort. I am dealing with the paperwork following my father's death but it's not...
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Wow, it's the middle of the week already!Today is our 11 year anniversary, so we're going out to a nice dinner. I'm losing a lot of sleep these days, hence a wonky schedule and uncomfortable feelings. But I know it will pass, eventually.I hope all of you have a peaceful day, and may good things come your way!
As you say, you cannot prevent her manias. She is medicated (it takes a while to get stable so hopefully her current stability will continue) so there probably isn't much more she can do either.
You need to have some help with dealing with your own issues and fears around this.
But, yes, you need some support because it is obviously worrying you greatly.
I feel for you. Try and get some support from the carers side, ask your Doctor for a carers assessment and they will review your needs and ive you some support. Google carers support in your local area or ask at your GPs.
lots of love x
I have been there with my mom too. It is not easy. I am in a good place in my life now that my mom is properly cared for. I don't worry much at all, she is in a nursing home. First, you need someone to talk to. It is not good for you to be like this and you are not able to help her if you are a basketcase. Second, your mom needs to trust you and let you help her find a good psych Dr. Finding a Dr. she can trust and confide in is essential. I know it is not easy, but you can only do so much. You will drive yourself nuts if you take complete ownership of everything that happens. You mom is a human being and like it or not she has to be responsible for her actions even if they are bad choices. You are not going to be able to fix the world. I know how hard it is, trust me. In the past year I have lived my own hell. I finally had to back off and let my mother fall. When she fell far enough, I had to go to court to force her to be apprehended and taken to the hospital. She nearly died. I am sure I would have blamed myself for not doing something earlier to help. The fact of the matter is that there was nothing I could have done. The day before, she had refused to go with me. If I had started the process earlier, they may not have forced her to go and sent the police. I knew from experience and talking to the nurses that were coming in to help her that it had to get much worse. It is sickening to watch that happen but sometimes these things are just beyond our control. Now my mom is in a home, but she is trying every avenue she can to get out and be declared competant. I will do everything I can to protect her which means keeping her where she is. If she does manage to get out then that is God's will, but I will no longer be the Power of Attorney. I will love her dearly, but will have to separate myself from her enough to keep my own sanity. I have been through so much that I will not go through it again. It's not that I will disappear completely, but if I can't fix it then I will have to let the chips fall. I know that this will be the beginning of the end and that makes me sad, but I can only do so much. You need to get yourself help or come to the realization that sometimes you can only just love them and not protect them as hard as it is. Good luck to you.