Please get professional counseling. You need to take care of your own mental health. Learn to set healthy boundries with your mother. When you mother is this way, there is no reason to stay for 2 hours and listen to her verbally abuse you. It was good that you got her to take her medications. I really hope that she is doing better today. When my husband gets in those angry moods, I have learned to not react emotionally to him and for the most part avoid being in the same room with him for very long until they pass. Please get some professional help for yourself.

Omg I know how you feel my mom is the same way. Although we have a good relationship when she is not in a manic episode. Instead if getting violent she is so quiet she wont eat or even sleep shell just walk around the house like a zombie, she wont even form words and I'm usually forced to admit her in the emergency psych ward because when I try to feed her she just wont take it. And I feel shell die because of starvation because I have to work and cant monitor her 24/7. She is currently not taking any medications except when she gets admitted, but when she gets discharged she gets so upset even angry that I admitted her. Its so hard emotionally but I don't know what else to do beside for take her to the emergency psych. I know the medication is only temporary and she hates them they make her suicidal. Praying all the time for some sort of help. Looking at homeopathic psychiatric treatment in my area now, optimistic but if this doesn't work I don't know what ill do. Never been the one to make life changing decision for my mom. I love her and don't want her to live on the psych meds, its truly not living at all.

hi Impala, sorry to see you back - and I mean that in a supportive way. I agree with chenmut, you need to look after yourself. Her situation is affecting you way too much and I think you need professional support to work on this.

@ master, I don't quite follow - what you have described is unipolar depression - "she is so quiet she wont eat or even sleep shell just walk around the house like a zombie, she wont even form words and I'm usually forced to admit her in the emergency psych ward " is a description of psychotic depression. It must be awful for her.

It's possible she might benefit from ECT but otherwise it is meds. Please don't waste your time with homeopapathic treatment - they don't work.

You are not alone. I get the same abuse from my teen daughter. Someone recommended I come here. It seems like i am in the right place. I agree with the advice given, and will try to take it to heart as well...set boundaries and seek help. I know you want to be there for her, and that is admirable, but you need to take care of yourself as well.
Hugs,
kryslalee

My mom is exactly the same way to the letter. Take care of yourself. This part has been really hard for me, like you, I really do love my mom and don't want her to be alone, so I understand that this is a hard step. Judging from my own personal experience and your story about knowing "exactly what she wants at any given moment", it sounds like she'll make this process even more difficult. My mom is constantly making me feel guilty and horrible for needing my own personal space.
I know you've been raised with this mentality, but its time to realize that your mother's problems aren't the most important ones in the world. You are an individual human being and its unfair and unreasonable for her to expect you to be her personal therapist at the drop of a hat.

Hi everyone thanks so much for answering. I didn't realise anyone had I usually get emails and didn't for some reason.

Ok well things got worse. We had to take her to the emergency room a few days later. Because I didn't realise she had no anti-psychotic medication left. When she gets to the state she was in she needs them as well as her mood-stabilizer (So when she took tablets on Tuesday it didnt make much difference if she had had the anti-psychotic then maybe it would have). It was so hard to get her to go. She gets in that state and you cant get her to the doctor (she is so abusive and mean) and you cant leave her go because when we have before she hurt someone else and had huge legal problems and the time after that took every tablet in the house and drank all the alcohol she could find. But those two times we could not get her to go.
She was meant to go to the Doctor today (her doctor) she made the appointment and I wanted to go with her she said she just wanted to go herself so I didnt push. She was in a better state after having a few days of anti-psychotics (not back to normal but not psychotic anymore). She rang today and gave me this story about what the doctor said. My sister had a day off work because of her last week and her job wants a doctors note to prove she needs carers leave so my sister rang to see my mums doctorturns out mum lied about seeing the doctor she didnt go (so she lied about him saying she was ok not to take the anti-psychotics any more). My sisters going to talk to the doctor tonightIm not sure what to do. If we confront her shell get upset and I dont want to push her back into psychosis. But if we leave it Im not sure if she should have stopped the anti-psychotics yet. She seems almost ok but not quiet. Shes very snappy and still a bit paranoid. Shes never done this after before an episode its usually the time she most on top of her tablets.
I feel like I need to say to her. I love you but you need to take your mood stabilizer no matter what. If we (my sister and/or I) think youre starting to go manic or psychotic you need to take the anti-psychotic. You need to always have some on hand. Or I just cant be in your life anymore.
I dont know if thats horrible but I cant even get into the stuff thats happened this last week. Its just too awful.
One thing Id really like advice on is if my mum is psychotic and wont go to the hospital or doctor but I know she is a danger to herself or someone else should I call an ambulance? I know they can then take her to the hospital but she wont go willingly shed likely get violent, would the ambulance drivers be able to handle that. Can they force her to go? Calling the police would make her worse. She hates them because of the legal stuff when she hurt someone the first time.
Advice please.

just a short answer...

" I love you but you need to take your mood stabilizer no matter what. If we (my sister and/or I) think youre starting to go manic or psychotic you need to take the anti-psychotic. You need to always have some on hand. Or I just cant be in your life anymore. "

I don't think that is unreasonable actually. As you say she's a danger to herself and others.

You might want to explain how it makes you feel or that you worry about her when she gets like that so she doesn't feel rejected.

"One thing Id really like advice on is if my mum is psychotic and wont go to the hospital or doctor but I know she is a danger to herself or someone else should I call an ambulance?"

Bear in mind most people here are from the US and often don't check members locations - in the UK you can get someone sectioned - it requires doctors & social workers. I would guess it would be similar in Australia - talk to your GP first perhaps? Otherwise I can forsee issues when she simply turns up in an ambulance in A&E.

Thank you. Thank you for replying. I hope I'm brave enough to say it. I don't want to hurt her. But it's hurting me to much.

I'm trying not to feel worried and sad...my sister wants to talk to mum again tomorrow. She did lie about seeing her doctor. She didn't go at all. Doctor told my sister she needs to be on the anti-psychotic medication all the time too as well as the mood stabilizer. I just feel so stuck. If we don't talk to her about it and let her know we know and get her to understand she needs to take the medication then she's in danger of having yet another episode. But if we'd do she's going to be so upset. She won't like that we spoke to her doctor. She has trouble trusting doctors as it is. So I don't want her to freak out and not see one at all. She'll think we're going behind her back. (Which wasn't exactly intensional. My sister needed a note for work so she'd get paid careers leave. The reception told her when she rang that mum hadn't shown up.) I think it will upset her a lot and I don't want it go throw her back into being psychotic, when she's only just come out if it. My sister is dead set into going there tomorrow night. I just don't know if its the right thing. I don't want to make things worse. But she needs that medication. I'm so scared, I feel sick.

I get how some say homeopathy is not an option.
It is not an option for may but it can work. I have seen many cases where it has. People are different. some have systems sensitive enough to repsond to it. There are homeopathic clinics and one good one is in Aventura CA where doctors can work by phone with an in person first eval.
Don't give up on that.
If homeopathic is not right then,....did you consider going to a nutritionist? They can help with diet so conventional meds work more often and more consistently. Really, the treatment of bipolar disorder is never soley dependant on meds, no matter what kind.

I had the same problem with my mom for many years ...after her third suicide attempt from which she almost did not recover, I went to the courts and checked her in the state house. When she could, she would call begging me to take her out because "these people are crazy" and "will you send some cigarettes to the girl down the hall" (note, my Mom does not smoke and hates it). That "little" 3 month episode helped with the boundaries. It did not stop all of her issues, because she still occationally went manic, and then suddenly, after 30 years, she has become the strength of our family, taking care of Dad, my elderly Grandparents until they passed, etc. Bottom line is, that taking control of my Mother in the courts was the best thing I ever did. I haven't had to remind her in 10 years that I could and would do it again. I consider the last 10 years of that to be a blessing. And then, there is my daughter but that is another post for another forum.