My mother has bipolar. She becomes very angry and unfair. Screaming at my sister and myself over things that aren't anything to do with us or we have no control over.

This afternoon for instance I was at her house. She was ok. Things were ok. Then she started having a go at my sister about bills that were due and what my sister owes. (They live together, I was just visiting). My sister ended up getting cranky because she hasnt been paid yet. And they had a bit of an argument. Mum stormed off into her room. My sister went out. Just before my mum stormed off she said my name and looked at me. A few minute later she yelled out that I should just go home. Confused I went to her room and said why. She then started crying because I didnt start yelling at my sister about the money too. I never stick up for her, she says. I have been dragged into their stuff before, they are both adults and I am sick of it. It has nothing to do with me. And I dont want to be in the middle. Then she ends up screaming at me, and crying. Saying no one cares about her. Tells me she doesnt care about me etc, etc. until I leave. It breaks my heart. I hate seeing her so upset. But I am so over all of this. Being screamed at and guilt tripped all the time about things that arent even my doing. I do absolutely all I can for her and its never enough. I cant take it.

I'm fairly certain she isn't taking her medication anymore as she hasn't seen a doctor in a while. You cant bring it up with her either. Or even ask about her medication. That just makes her angry. She thinks all doctors are 'idiots'. She has good episodes. And then she is mean and nasty and unfair. Or shes depressed and sad. She says no one cares about her. All I do is worry about her. She is making our lives so stressful. My sister and I do all we can. I suffer from depression and anxiety and I can't take anymore. She goes manic and ends up psychotic. Shes been hospitalised twice before. But as I said you cant talk to her about any of it. She wont see a doctor. And I just don't know what to do. Should I feel guilty? Because I do. She treats me like garbage and I feel so guilty. Because she is unhappy and hurting and I know the meanness is because she has bipolar. But how much of her behaviour can be attributed to the illness? Can I be angry, she hurts us so much? She knows she is sick. She knows she has bipolar. She often yells I'm the one who is sick! if anyone tries to talk to her about how she is making us feel. The world has to revolve around her. Please help me. I feel like Im doing all I can. But I still feel so guilty about everything, like I should be doing more.