Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group

This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.

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Mental Health
/ Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group

I am at my wits end!!!

bayrabbit01
bayrabbit01
Let's just start by saying that I am at my wits end. My fiancee (I believe) is bi-polar but refused to be diagnosed or to even admit that he has a problem. This problem has cost us friends and has caused us to have to move several times as he can get quite angry at our landlord regardless of how nice they are. He can also get quite racist when he gets angry, and that really bothers me. His constant mood swings are so bad that no one can anticipate when they will be a target. When he gets angry, he can get very loud and people don't know what to make of it. I just try my best to keep him happy....which is a vicious circle because we all know that no matter who we are....we can't keep anyone happy all the time. I've tried to convince him to see a mental health professional...but he is convinced that he doesn't need it. In fact, anytime I bring up the subject...he turns the topic around saying that I am the one that needs mental help.

I need advice from anyone who might be able to help me with this problem.
deleted_user
deleted_user
that is exactly what my husband says - its not him - its me who is in a funny mood! Its infuriaiting.
My husband is Bipolar II with hourly cycling and paranoia and anxiety psycosis. He was officially doagnosed last September but I knew pretty early on he needed help.
I made a rule - no meds, no me.

To be honest my life is a nightmare, I cant go out I cant come on the Pc (he is asleep now due to a mood crash!) I cant have any friends, I cant have a job, we cant watch TV as it often upsets him, we cant raise our voices, we cant upset him at all, its his way or no way to be honest. So I can totally sympathise with all you say. I cant advise just have a hard think what you want from life and if he isnt prepared to meet you half-way and help himself to save your relationship then thats not a very good sign is it! You have to be totally together in this or its going to be awful for you as well as him.

SO have a long talk with him, obviously pick your moment!, but you know you have to protect yourself and your future. I am in the position now where my husbands recent suicide makes it impossible for me to go (as he would do it again) and horrible to stay too....so really think about what you want.
My best advice would be, if it was your girlfriend asking you this advice - what would you say to her?!....you know the answer is inside you! Good luck x
Ladybug7
Ladybug7
What symptoms does your fiance have that make you believe he is bipolar? Is it possible that he could just have a problem with anger management? If he is exhibiting mood swings that include periods of depression alternating with times of excessive energy (mania/hypomania), then I would suggest sitting down with him when he's relatively stable and sharing with him some of the information you've read about bipolar. Maybe compare his symptoms with a list of those often experienced by people with the illness. Don't give up on him, but I would suggest postponing marriage until he agrees to get some help. Good luck!
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